Richie quotes from Static Shock

Hey Richie, how many superheroes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Huh?

None. If I'm the superhero, then you don't need a lightbulb.

I call it my Novaburst, all it takes is a little wire.

My latest invention. It transmits on a highband radio frequency, so you should be able to hear it with you powers. Is it working?

Loud and clear.

It's got about a two-mile radius, so you could trace it...

...Wait a minute, I'm picking up something else. I think it's the police band.

What is it?

Something about a ...flood?

He's nice, but he's not smart enough to be president.

Never stopped anyone before.

Hey, Vee, check this o-

Madelyn

Not so fast, Richard. Let's see what's in your brain...

What's going on? ...Richie?!

Madelyn

You... you're interesting. [She cackles and runs away.)

Hey, watcha doing?

Stuff

Okay

Jimmy Osgood, student of mystery

That's when Nick Connor came in, last year he was voted "Best Personality", should've demanded a recount.

c'mon, my bedroom is this way.

cool room, did you make all of this?

most of it, see this it's a prop from "Star Force" I got it at an online auction

woah!, I've only seen that movie like a bazillion times, check it vee

(looking at Jimmy's lava lamp) Uh huh

I got it on DVD, we can watch it or I can show you something cooler I can show you a real gun

what?

My Dad bought it for protection, wanna see?

No I hate guns, my mom was killed by one, it was an accident, but, listen I gotta go! See you tomorrow at school, okay?, Come on Rich.

(sees Richie rapidly scribbling schematics in his notebook) Richie.

Uh-huh?

What you workin' on?

(speaking rapidly) Well, I was fixing my roller blades last night, while watching the military channel special on harrier jets, you know, the ones that can make vertical take-offs and landings and I was thinking, wouldn't it be super-cool to integrate that technology into my skates?

...Oookay...

Now, the first step in solving this... (he sees Richie engrossed in his notebook) Mr. Foley? ... Mr. Foley? [Richie still reads through his notebook] MR. FOLEY?

(finally looks up) Huh?

(points at the equation) The problem?

(Richie adjusts his glasses and takes a glance at the ten-line-long equation of mathematical gibberish for five seconds and...) Four over pi.

Perhaps, Mr. Foley, if you had been paying atten- (realizing) What?

The answer. Four over pi.

Y-yes, but ... how did you know?

(ducks behind his desk) Lucky guess?

(after stopping the jet blade from colliding into Richie's face) Richie, this is too much.

You're right. The rear boosters must be overpowered.

No man, not the skates! YOU!

What do you mean?

The robot, the Zap-Caps, all this stuff! I mean, all of a sudden you're Brainiac the Maniac!

So I'm a little smarter than most people. What's the big deal?

A little? The Department of Defense couldn't think up most of this stuff!

Well they don't have to! I already thought it up for them!

Focus, Richie. Remember when you said your head felt like it was on fire? Maybe you were right, 'cause something's really cooking up there.

(ponders slowly at first) I do feel different lately; I think faster, a lot faster. (starts to speed up) Sometimes I can't stop thinking. Sometimes it's like my thoughts are thinking thoughts! See, I just thought that! (starts panicking) It's like ideas are exploding in my head! Does it look bigger? It does, doesn't it? Cranial perimeters definitely expanding. Oooh no!

You look fine.

Fine?! I'm having some kind of strain-on-the-brain breakdown!! I could be going crazy, I...

(grabs Richie) Rich, you know what I think? I think maybe you're becoming a Bang Baby.

That doesn't make any sense. Why am I changing now?

I don't know. Late boomer, maybe? I mean, other bangers had delyaed reactions.

But I wasn't even at the Big Bang.

Yeah, but you were with me right after I got gassed, and my clothes reeked of the stuff. Maybe that's how you got infected and it's been dormant in you all this time. What do you think?

It's as good a theory as we got right now.

Yo, bro. What's that? Plans for a particle accelerator?

(sighs) Yeah.

I was kidding. Hey, man, why so down? Isn't it fun being a super brain?

I guess. It's just ... How come I couldn't get a cool power like, super strength or laser vision?

Laser vision?

How am I supposed to fight super villains? Think them into submission? All I can be is your mega mechanic...

How do you know that?

I looked it up in my Crime Database Computer Index.

Whoe, ur, hold up. What Crime Database Computer Index?

I cross-indexed all newspaper crime reports from the last 20 years--about 852,000,000 items in all.

And it really works?

Would you ask Batman that question?

No, but he's a famous Caped Crusader with his own Batmobile and Batplane. You are a sophomore with a pocket protector.

This looks like a job for...

Don't finish that sentence, V. Superman already owns the rights.