Starsky, about this report, it reads like a comic book! 'The fiery red Torino fishtails to a halt. Me and Hutch spill out onto the street ready for action.'
All S1
S1 E2Texas Longhorn
S1 E3Death Ride
You're worried.
Yeah.
Relax.
I'd rather worry.
Me, too. So, who do we trust, huh?
Like always, me and thee.
They asked what the name was of the biggest money making horse in history.
What'd you say?
...Marie Antoinette.
You said Marie Antoinette was the biggest money making horse in history?
I guess it didn't sound to me like they said 'horse'.
You sold me a HOT $360 watch?
It was cold when I touched it.
You came on a little strong for a phony. You think Mello's daughter would have been that way?
JMJoanne Mello
Partly that. Partly I was just scared. You two could have been a couple of stumblebums. How was I to know you were just a little short of perfect?
[about the gunmen] What're they doing?
Oh, talking.
What about?
The weather.
S1 E4Snowstorm
[In response to Starsky's badgering him to buy a new car] You just want me to drive around in a striped tomato like you got.
[Stunned] My car's a striped what?
You know what they say: "Huggy Bear's is where the elite meet and come to greet and eat and flee the feet who are so sweet with the finer things of life, beep-beep, beep-beep, beep."
S1 E5The Fix
BGOfficer Bernie Glassman
[Bernie and Starsky have found Hutch and have discovered he's addicted to heroin] I've got to make a report!
No! No report. This didn't happen, Bernie. Understand? This didn't happen.
And one more thing... When you see Hutch, you tell him that he owes me one good waitress.
[sees Starsky walking past his office with a candy bar in his mouth] Starsky!
[muffled from the candy bar] Mornin', Cap'n.
[angrily] Get in here! It's the middle of the afternoon! Where's that partner of yours?
It's his day off, Captain.
His day off ended this morning. Now suppose you stop covering for him, get your tail on the horn, and tell him I said get his rear end in here!
The truth is, Captain, he's sick.
He ain't called in sick!
Well, you know how it is, he's in love.
What you mean is he's shacked up.
Yeah, well, uh... she is a pretty girl, Captain.
[completely uncharmed] You tell him I want him in here in one hour, and ready for duty. You tell him that.
There's only one problem, Captain.
What's that?
I don't know where he is to tell him that.
[Starsky has just found Hutch's gun in his apartment and knows something has happened to him] I'm telling you, he's gone!
No he isn't. He's out on a date with a beautiful girl, to use your words.
[frustrated] Captain, you don't understand!
What do you mean, I don't understand?
I found his gun back in his apartment.
[skeptical] Do you take that gun out with you when you go on a date?
[angrily] Hutch wouldn't visit his *mother* without a gun!
[firmly] All right, Starsky settle down!
[Starsky calms down]
What do you think happened to him?
[crossly] I don't know.
Well, you know about that girl.
I know her name, I know where she lives...
And?
I can't find her, either.
What do you want to do about it?
Missing Persons?
That's a 'missing officer.'
No, I mean 'missing partner.'
BFBen Forest
Hi, baby.
JWJeanie Walton
How'd you find me?
BFBen Forest
Where do you go when you're lookin' for something? You go to the cops. Even a cop named Hutch.
JWJeanie Walton
You're lying. He wouldn't tell you.
[She realizes something bad has happened]
JWJeanie Walton
What did you do to him?
BFBen Forest
You'll see, baby. You'll see.
S1 E7Pariah
[Entering his kitchen, where Starsky is sitting on the counter and eating] That's a great breakfast. Root beer and cold pizza.
It's the all-American breakfast. Just for the autopsy record, what's that you mash up in there every morning?
[Pouring and sprinkling items into a blender] Goat's milk, a little blackstrap molasses, sea kelp, lecithin, a little desiccated liver; of course, a good sprinkle of it has trace elements and vitamins.
Of course.
Y'know, Starsky, you oughta get into something like this. Make a new man outta ya.
S1 E8Kill Huggy Bear
Starsky, don't be cute. If you need help, call for it.
Hutch is cute. I'm careful.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Starsky & Hutch pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.