Hutch Hutchinson quotes from Starsky & Hutch

Hutch

We don't get paid extra to kill people either.

Hutch

Hey, Starsk, do you think Pat O'Brien will ever forgive us?

Hutch

[Explaining pro wrestling to Starsky] Now, see, what happens is you get some Idaho potato picker in here, you give him a funny name and a fancy pair of tights and a bottle of ketchup.

Hutch

There's something you oughtta know about Starsky and me. We're not like most partners. Y'know, usually there's the one guy who's kinda folksy. Kind that wants the best for everybody. The Pat O'Brien kind of guy. And then there's the other guy, the rough 'em up, hardnosed kind of guy. Well, that doesn't work for Starsky and me. See, we're both hardnosed, Rollie. And we don't like it when people don't give us everything we want.

Hutch

You're worried.

Starsky

Yeah.

Hutch

Relax.

Starsky

I'd rather worry.

Hutch

Me, too. So, who do we trust, huh?

Starsky

Like always, me and thee.

Huggy Bear

They asked what the name was of the biggest money making horse in history.

Hutch

What'd you say?

Huggy Bear

...Marie Antoinette.

Hutch

You said Marie Antoinette was the biggest money making horse in history?

Huggy Bear

I guess it didn't sound to me like they said 'horse'.

Hutch

You came on a little strong for a phony. You think Mello's daughter would have been that way?

Partly that. Partly I was just scared. You two could have been a couple of stumblebums. How was I to know you were just a little short of perfect?

Starsky

[about the gunmen] What're they doing?

Hutch

Oh, talking.

Starsky

What about?

Hutch

The weather.

Hutch

[In response to Starsky's badgering him to buy a new car] You just want me to drive around in a striped tomato like you got.

Starsky

[Stunned] My car's a striped what?

Hutch

[Entering his kitchen, where Starsky is sitting on the counter and eating] That's a great breakfast. Root beer and cold pizza.

Starsky

It's the all-American breakfast. Just for the autopsy record, what's that you mash up in there every morning?

Hutch

[Pouring and sprinkling items into a blender] Goat's milk, a little blackstrap molasses, sea kelp, lecithin, a little desiccated liver; of course, a good sprinkle of it has trace elements and vitamins.

Starsky

Of course.

Hutch

Y'know, Starsky, you oughta get into something like this. Make a new man outta ya.

Hutch

[Looking out the window of his home] Hey, Starsk, you see that sunset?

Starsky

[Laying on the couch] Nah, that's okay.

Hutch

You really oughtta take a look at it.

Starsky

Why? It happens every night.

Hutch

It's beautiful! Every color of the spectrum, constantly changing. Blue, gold, red, purple...

Starsky

You been keepin' Reader's Digest in the john again? 'Ways to More Colorful Speech'?

[Showing off his gaudy "church," filled with faux-pagan decor] Well, how do you like the way I converted the old pad?

Hutch

Yeah, it's, uh, real nice. Gotta lot of class, Ezra. Who's your decorator - Vincent Price?

Hutch

Sure your arm's gonna be all right?

Starsky

Couldn't be better. I told ya, Gene Autry gets it there all the time.

Hutch

You know something? You look terrible.

Starsky

Hey, don't let me fool you; I played Camille in high school.

Hutch

[after Starsky weaved through traffic, driving the wrong way on a one way street] You didn't see the arrow, huh?

Starsky

I didn't even see the Indians.