I'm afraid your plan has been discovered, Colonel Sheppard. It is over.
[Everyone turns to look at Woolsey]
[defensively] He put his hand in my forehead! How can you resist that?!
Well, I like to close my eyes and think of England.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[Sheppard and McKay burst into the brig, where O'Neill and Woolsey are being held]
Hey! Thanks for the rescue!
Oh, hey...no problem.
No! You should be saying, "Thanks for the rescue!"
Oh, ah, right...thanks. Should have you out of there in no time. This won't take long at all.
[McKay fiddles with the door controls, an error tone sounds]
Oh, my...they, they, they've changed the codes.
...But you can crack it, right? You need to get us out of here!
Yeah, of course I can...just give me, like, 1...2 seconds.
...So, I guess that frozen replicator plan didn't pan out!?
Yeah...not so much.
How's that plan "B" workin' for ya? Good?
Actually, it's...it's more like, uh, plan "C".
[McKay looks hopefully at O'Neill and Woolsey, O'Neill and Woolsey stare blankly at McKay]
...As in C-4, if you catch my drift?
No.
Let's just say that we're concerned that the Daedalus won't be able to carry out your standing orders.
What? To destroy Atlantis with nuclear weapons? I thought we were past that! Why would we be going back to that?
Yeah, it's the only way.
Can you do that?
Yeah...If we plant charges in all 10 of the shield emitters before the Daedalus arrives, that way, when the replicators try to activate the shields...
...The C-4 detonates, the Daedalus beams a warhead into the city, and we're all vaporized.
[O'Neill turns quickly to look at McKay]
[Agitated] Sounds more like a plan "F", doesn't it? As in, "We're totally..."
Good old plan "D", works every time.
[Sheppard has just given Caldwell his authentication code to validate it is his team in Atlantis, not the Replicators. Caldwell is on board the Daedalus, preparing to nuke the city to eliminate the Replicator threat.]
That code is no longer valid, Colonel.
Hey, Caldwell! General Jack O'Neill here. That valid enough for ya?
Their ear-drums have been perforated.
How?
The whales are emitting an intense, low frequency pulse...like...like a sonar; as well as an EM field. The combination is very dangerous to humans - particularly in such close proximity.
[having heard none of this; his voice raised] It's the whales!
[ignoring Rodney] Their hearing's been impaired; it should heal soon...
[continuing anyway; his voice still raised] It's their echolocation! It's creating very powerful vibrations! The closer we got, the worse it became!
Yes... [Raising his voice] Yes Rodney! We know!
[after a brief pause] Oh!
[after an even longer pause] What?
[attempting to get Rodney's attention] Canadian Football league is a joke.[he pauses, then continues when Rodney fails to react] Celine Dion is overrated. [a second pause] Zelenka is smarter than you are! [a third pause]
[having heard nothing] Hey! I found mention of a biolab in the database. Ancient scientists used it to study animal life. We should check it out.
Okay...Meredith.
[Elizabeth, John, and Rodney are discussing the whale-like creature Rodney has been studying]
And how do you know...he's a he?
Oh, because I cross-referenced the renderings in the database with the whale outside, and, you'll see, the males have a rather prominent, um-
[interrupting] Oh, it's okay, I might-I'll take your word for it.
(Talking about Kolya and his men) What if they burn down the village out of spite?
LLucius
Well, that'll be petty of them.
Yeah well, they're like that.
LLucius
So I finish off the last Wraith guard and I turn around and I look at the Queen and I say, 'You know, if you were twenty pounds heavier, you’d look like my ex-wife.'
Normally if Dr. Esposito weren't around, I doubt you would have been as reckless as you were.
Are you insane?
Which one is Esposito?
Oh, the long dark-haired...
Oh, right, the one with the perky little...
Do you mind?! We're trying to work here.
For the record I was gonna say 'smile'.
Ya, I'm sure you were.
One more time: mysterious energy pulse from a device created by the Ancients. I mean, who knows what kind of long-term effects I could be in for? I mean, there’s gross mutation, giantism, invisibility...
That would be cool. I turned into a bug.
Alright. Like I said, as far as I can tell, he’s as healthy as a horse. I’m clearing you for active duty.
What are you insane?! Look, I need to be put under guard. Who knows what I could become?
What are the chances it could make him more pleasant?
What else can you do, besides telekinesis?
Well, super-hearing for one. And, I'm not sure, but I think I may actually be getting smarter. It's hard to say for sure because I was pretty smart to start with, but recently I've been having thoughts that I don't think even I would have thought of before.
Does super-ego count as a power?
[A nurse arrives with a tray of food]
Oh, finally! Look, keep it coming.
We may also be dealing with a super appetite, but it's hard to tell because he ate so much before.
[Weir and Sheppard walk into the chair room to talk to McKay.]
Rodney, we need to talk.
[Rodney deactivates the chair and reads their minds]
What do you mean I’m gonna die? I’m not even sick! I feel great -- never better!
That Ancient device...
[Reading his mind] ...has accelerated my evolution. [Reading Weir’s mind] Eventually I’ll reach a point where I’m physically capable of ascension, but ascension takes more than that -- there’s a mental component. I need to know how to make it happen... which I don’t. [Reads Ronon’s thoughts] Yet!! I’m getting smarter by the minute, it’s a pretty good assumption I’ll be able to figure it out on the way. [Rodney reads Weir’s mind again]. OK, so it’s not as easy as that. Well, even if I don’t, so I stay a highly-evolved human. I mean, I don’t have to ascend, it’s a choice, right? [John grimaces slightly] No? What do you mean, no? Oh, that stupid Ancient device doesn’t work properly, does it? [He reads Elizabeth’s mind again] It’s set in motion a series of genetic mutations that will result in my death if I don’t ascend?!
[To Weir] There is something easier about this.
That’s why the Ancients didn’t put it into common use, it’s just one more in a long line of abysmal, over-ambitious failures! Oh God. I’m a dead man!
You know, we could be a team! You could be my sidekick!
Sidekick.
Yeah, like Batman and Ronon. Has a nice ring to it.
You keep eating like this, it'll be more like "Fatman".
Yes, I'm me! I'm my old self!
Are you certain?
Ya, I'm alive. I feel--I feel great--I feel--uh...um...hungry...
He's fine.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Stargate Atlantis pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.