[Lt. Col. Sheppard walks in to check on Ronon, who is interrogating Dr. Kavanaugh, only to find Kavanaugh lying on the ground, unconscious.]
What did you do to him?
Nothing, he fainted before I could touch him.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
CCCol. Caldwell's Goa'uld
I warn you, as a Goa'uld, I now possess the strength of many men.
[ominously] It'll be a fair fight then. [Ronon proceeds to easily overpower the Goa'uld]
Now, as you know, the Zero Point Module controls the flow of massive amounts of power.
Like a dam.
No, it's not like a dam, it's more like a ...uh...actually, yes, it's like a dam. If you overload the dam, it breaks, which is why the Ancients put in place failsafes to prevent such a thing from happening.
Like a spillway.
Could we just stick with failsafes?
Hermiod's going to attempt to remove Col. Caldwell's Goa'uld using Asgard beaming technology.
Quite remarkable, actually.
And complicated. Well, the calculations are impossibly intricate. You don't want to beam out a chunk of his brain.
Lovely, Rodney.
Hey, look who's back! It's Mr. Mom. Fun with the kids?
[his face is decorated with grass and paintings, struggling to say something] Do not even speak to me! [walks away, with Rodney looking smug]
[To his hallucination of Col. Carter]
I mean, you come in here, you don't help me, you say the one plan I've got is bad, you-you claim to be a creation of my mind and yet you are in no way dressed provocatively!
Come on, you're a figment of my imagination. The least you can do is take your top off!
Your subconscious mind knows that I would never be into that.
You are the worst hallucination ever.
I wonder why we never hooked up.
What, aside from the fact that you're petty, arrogant and treat people badly?
...yes.
Nope, that's pretty much it: petty, arrogant, bad with people.
Oh. But you do find me attractive?
Let’s stick to working on my idea.
No, this is my idea.
How do you figure?
Well, you don’t exist. You think what my subconscious tells you to think! So, really the idea was mine. [realizing] Oh, wow! I’m arguing with myself about who had an idea first—me or me. I really am petty, aren’t I?
[To his hallucination of Col. Carter]
You're—you're not physically here. You can't transfer any heat.
Doesn't mean I can't get you hot!
(incredulous) I'm sorry?
[Carter emerges from the water partially undressed]
[After Zelenka realizes Sheppard wants him to go underwater in the puddlejumper with him to save McKay]
Oh! No-no-no-no-no-no – I cannot possibly ... uh, no.
Radek.
I-I ... I can't even swim!
There's not a lot of swimming under a thousand feet of ocean.
(to Radek) Look, I'm not gonna order you to go.
I will! [Elizabeth shoots him a look]
All I'm saying is that if Rodney can't turn to you, who can he turn to?
[thinks for several seconds] Right. Give me a few minutes and I'll get my gear.
They can't all be planets with cool technology and open-minded women.
I don't see why not!
We got the drones, we got a few jumpers; I even got the girl.
You got the girl?
Well, I mean I could have got the girl. I turned her down.
[smiling] What did you offer them in return for the drones and the jumpers?
A supply of medicines and an IDC if they need to reach us. We also offered to help `em come up with a new way of running things when the time comes.
They didn't offer you king?
I turned that down too!
You two need some very serious marriage counselling.
WPDr Weir/Phoebus
He’s not my husband, he is the enemy. Drop your weapon.
[McKay drops the sidearm]
WPDr Weir/Phoebus
Now radio security and tell them everything’s fine.
Everything’s not fine.
[Weir stuns Beckett and aims the stunner at Rodney]
Security, this is Rodney McKay. Everything’s fine, never been better. Colonel Caldwell was kidding when he said, what he said...
WPDr Weir/Phoebus
Ah, forget it!
[Weir stuns McKay]
[over comm] Thaelin, the second I find you, you die.
Well, they're on the road to divorce.
[Sheppard/Thaelin stuns Teyla]
LCLt. Col. Sheppard/Thaelin
Will you people stop getting in the way?! [exchanges a few shots with Weir/Phoebus] Go ahead and expend all your ammunition, just like you did last time! Your people don't know how to fight, Phoebus. That's why we're gonna win the war!! [shoots]
WPDr. Weir/Phoebus
This war's not over yet!! [shoots back]
[The lights are out and Beckett is about to operate on Ronon]
Bloody dark ages.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Stargate Atlantis pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.