Stargate Atlantis quotes

[Rodney took the enzyme and he's dialing the gate] Big dose. Big, big dose. But you needed it. You had to take out the guards. And you did. Stupid, "You want the crystals, you'll have to go through us." Well, I went through you all right didn't I? Like a hot knife jell-o. No, it's uh butter. Hot knife through butter. Man, I'm hungry. Focus. Focus. Must finish dialing the gate.

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Rodney, slow down. Are you all right?

[babbling excitedly] Yes, yes! I mean, I'm... I don't know! I mean, I did take out the guards, they were huge and dumb and stupid and...

What guards?

Ford's guards! Didn't I mention Ford?!

No, you didn't! You haven't mentioned Sheppard, Teyla and Ronon either-

YES!!! They were there too, and there were two guards! They were huge, massive and to take them out, I had to inject myself with some of the enzyme...

[incredulous] You took some of the enzyme?!

Nonononono, I didn't took some of the enzyme, I took a lot of the enzyme because I had to take out the guards do! You should have seen me, I was amazing!!!

Are you insane?

Yes! Yes! No, I took some of the enzyme, yes!

Rodney, focus! Where is Col. Sheppard?

NONONO, I HAD TO TAKE THE ENZYME BECAUSE, BECAUSE I HAD TO TAKE OUT THE GUARDS! Elizabeth, the-the point is, we don't have much time! We have to stop that ship and get to know where the ship's going!

Come on, come on, let's take a walk to the infirmary-

Ooooh, what are you doing? Nonono, I don't want to go to the infirmary! I want to go to the, ummm, the... [collapses]

Dr. Beckett, we have an emergency, we're headed for you!

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NNeera

You do not fear them?

The Wraith? Naah. Now, clowns… that's another story. Scare the crap out of me…

[later]

NNeera

You have fought the Wraith before?

Lots of times. Won some battles; lost some. War's not over by a long shot, but we're managing to hold our own.

NNeera

And the clowns?

The clowns? Oh, yeah, the clowns. We fight them too; entire armies, spilling out of Volkswagens. We do our best to fight them off, but they keep sending `em in.

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Why aren't you dead?

[irked] It's good to see you too, Rodney.

No, no, I mean… well, you know what I mean. Why aren't you… dead?

Well, I knew when the hives started shooting each other that it was only a matter of time before they blew each other up, so I went to the Spacegate, dialled an address and got out of there.

Teyla

Col. Sheppard was kind enough to make us whole again and we all returned to Atlantis.

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Someone hand me a branch. [Ronon hands him a log] I didn't ask for a log!

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Just, um, back out if you encounter anything problematic.

Problematic?

Yeah, like poisonous atmosphere, acid atmosphere, no atmosphere…. Hey, it's a MALP on a stick; only shows you so much!

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Col. Sheppard would have already had hours to try to make it back through the portal in the time I wasted explaining the situation to Conan and Xena!

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This is Sheppard. I'm pretty sure you can't hear me, but I don't have a volleyball to talk to, so what the hell.

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Lt. Col. Sheppard [after being left to himself to fight the Beast]: Hey people, I'm starting to develop some serious abandonment issues here!

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What is it with you and ascended women?!

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[Dr. Lee is trying to explain his idea of relaying a message to Atlantis to a room full of SGC personnel]

It's—it's the Twilight Bark.

[The audience murmur and look at one another, confused]

Twilight Bark? 101 Dalmatians? Didn't you guys see that movie? My kids love it, and... Well, okay, so there's all these dogs. And one barks here, one barks here, one— They send the message across the countryside.

[The audience continue to murmur]

Lord of the Rings.

[People start nodding and smiling]