I'm a little scared of getting trapped in a fire.
I understand.
Would you help me to safety?
If there wasn't anything else better to do.
Like what?
Save myself.
S2 E14And The Crowd Goes Wild
S2 E15Celebrities
That is why I discourage fraternization in the office.
You discourage fraternization?
I do.
Are you not counting the last year and a half with Dana?
I am, as a matter of fact, not counting that.
Do you know how anal you are about your books?
Uh, I know that Natalie's got your manhood stuffed inside a Prada bag.
S2 E16The Local Weather
Does the porn star know you're this much of a dork?
Guess where I've been.
Church.
You see? He knew.
I was standing right here.
S2 E17Draft Day, Part One: It Can't Rain at Indian Wells
You're dating a porn star?
I have met and spent social time with an actress who appears in adult films, yes.
How you manage to make dating a porn star sound like a day at the public library is beyond me.
I broke up with you, Mr. "Obviously has a short-term memory loss with a myriad of other problems which I won't even go into but thinks he broke up with me because of the short-term memory loss which is so obvious".
No need to be formal. I've seen you naked. Call me Jeremy.
S2 E18Draft Day, Part Two: The Fall of Ryan O'Brian
I'm sorry.
Yeah?
I'm very sorry.
I don't think you are.
I am. In fact, I'm so sorry it's almost hard for me to think of different ways to say "bite me."
Sounds like you're ready to go for it.
I am. I absolutely am. I mean, if not now, when? If not me, then who?
Later and somebody else?
S2 E19April is the Cruelest Month
I'll go write the pageant.
The pageant?
Well, there are sections of the haggadah that, quite frankly, could use a polish.
You're gonna do a rewrite on the haggadah?
It's not written in stone, Dan.
Actually, some of it is.
You dated a porn star and never slept with her?
Yeah.
What a goober.
S2 E20Bells and a Siren
Are you growing a beard?
No.
Did you shave this morning?
No.
Why?
I like an electric razor.
You should buy one.
I have one. I have four.
You have four electric razors?
Yes.
Why?
I like them.
Is your electricity not working?
Esther baby-proofed the house.
Matthew's here! I totally forgot. When was the last time you saw him?
About nine months ago, before the stroke.
Matthew's here!
The kid can't even walk yet - why are we locking the medicine cabinets?
Does he crawl?
Not up walls, no!
S2 E21La Forza del Destino
EElliott
Dan?
Hey.
EElliott
These are for you. [puts flowers on desk]
Elliott, look, last night, seriously, I was talking to Kim. I was doing a little thing.
EElliott
They're not from me.
Like it'd kill you to give me flowers once in a while? [opens card] "R.W." It says "R.W."
What else does it say?
It just says "R.W." Robert Wagner has sent me flowers.
How did you know Time Warner was gonna drop out at 27?
SStranger
I didn't.
You did.
SStranger
I guessed.
You didn't guess, you had information.
SStranger
I had a lot of information. That's what makes me good at guessing.
S2 E22Quo Vadimus
TTrager
Anybody who can't make money off Sports Night should get out of the money-making business.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Sports Night pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.