“Sing a Song of Patrick” quotes from SpongeBob SquarePants

Patrick

I think I wrote a poem once. [flashback to a younger Patrick, whose voice is higher-pitched]

Young Patrick

[reading from a sheet of paper] A Poem, by Patrick Star. "Roses are blue, violets are red. I have to go to the bathroom." [eats the paper and burps]

How many times I gotta tell ya? This...is...gym class! [blows a whistle, and several dodgeballs are thrown at Patrick]

Narrator

The next day... [cut to Bigshot Records]

♪-and that's why you're my cookie-wookie teddy bear!♪

I hate my life.

I hate your life, too, dude.

People! We have 17 more songs to finish this hour! Next up is: "I Wrote This" by Patrick Star. [sniffs then holds his nose] Yick.

[takes it] This one's really bad! It made my eyeballs throw up.

Oh yeah. [upon looking at it, his eyes shrivel up and turn into dust]

I don't care how awful his poem is! We spent his 100 bucks already!

Come on, guys. We're going to do this if it kills us. A 1, and a 2 and a-

[gives the record to Patrick] They wanted you to have this.

Patrick

[gleefully] My song!

[singing Patrick's poem] ♪Twinkle, twinkle, Patrick Star! I made myself a sandwich. My mommy named it Fred. It tastes like beans and bacon. And smells like it's been dead. Writing stuff is hard so I use a pointy pencil. Pointy, pointy, pointy, pointy, pointy, point! Pee-yew! what's that horrible smell?♪

Drum Solo! [plays drum solo. Wallpaper peels and plants become dead and picture of Mr. and Mrs. SquarePants shakes]

♪I have a head, it ends in a point. pointy, pointy, pointy, pointy, pointy, point!♪ [in their picture, Mr. and Mrs. SquarePants get annoyed and Mrs. SquarePants turns the picture over] ♪This song is over, except for this line, you win this round, broccoli!♪ [the song ends as SpongeBob's house peels and the stereo crashes on top of SpongeBob and Patrick]