“Doing Time” quotes from SpongeBob SquarePants (Season 3) ... TV Quotes Database

[SpongeBob and Patrick are trying to rob the bank. They're both wearing a huge sock over their heads like a mask and are unable to see. SpongeBob has his back to the teller window]

SpongeBob

Alright! Put the money. In. The. Bag! PUT IT IN!

BTBank Teller (Nat)

Umm, you're facing the wrong way, sir.

SpongeBob

[turns around, laughing] ALRIGHT, GIVE ME THE MONEY!

BTBank Teller (Nat)

Will that be from your savings or your checking account, sir?

SpongeBob

Uhh, savings.

BTBank Teller (Nat)

May I please see some identification?

SpongeBob

Sure. [gives him a card] Here ya go.

BTBank Teller (Nat)

Thank you. [The card is shown to be SpongeBob's Jellyfishers Club Membership card; SpongeBob gives Patrick a thumbs up] Sir, we are showing a balance of $0.00 for both of your accounts.

SpongeBob

Oh.

BTBank Teller (Nat)

Next.

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SpongeBob

Patrick, she has lost it! She's completely institutionalized. She's forgotten what it's like to live on the outside, to not be in prison!

[Cut to a fish caught in traffic, then miserably working at a cubicle, and then solemnly looking out his window]

WWife

Coming to bed, honey?

FFish

Yes, dear.

[Cut back to SpongeBob and Patrick]

SpongeBob

We've gotta remind her that there is a life other than this! Mrs. Puff, if you come with us, I’ll stay after school, and decorate the whole classroom.

Mrs. Puff

For the last time, No! I’m not going with you, that's final! Oh, oh.

BBBikini Bottom Jail Guard

Talking to inanimate objects again, huh, Puff? Hmph. Get back to your cell. No more kitchen time for you.

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PGPrison Guard No. 1

What the barnacle is going on?!

Mrs. Puff

Get away from me! Get away!

PGPrison Guard No. 1

What are you talking about, Puff?

Mrs. Puff

You can't fool me. You're SpongeBob and that guy who likes the chili. [rips off the guards' faces]

PGPrison Guard No. 1

Let's face it, Puff. You've gone off the deep end.

[Scene cuts to a second guard throwing Mrs. Puff, who is in a straitjacket, in a small, yellow square room]

PGPrison Guard No. 2

Get in there, you! You need a nice long stay in solitary confinement! [slams the door, which makes a squeaking sound]

Mrs. Puff

Oh, well. Let's look at the positives again. I'm finally away from those two. Yes. All alone in my nice, soft room.

SpongeBob

Made of sponge! [laughs. The room is made of yellow sponge as SpongeBob's face appears on all sides of the wall. Mrs. Puff shrieks; the scene suddenly changes back to her hollering from SpongeBob's failed driving test]

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MOfficer Malley (Green)

Freeze! Your joyride's over, punk. [police officers walk over]

Mrs. Puff

No! What? [policemen arrest SpongeBob this time, because he now failed the driving test] Huh? What?

SpongeBob

No. No! What are you doing? Help! Help! [As the officers carry him to the jail vehicle, he kicks his legs.] No, no, please! No! I have a snail to feed. I can't go to jail now. This is not a good time. No, please, please! I'm not a criminal! [They throw him into the back of the police car, then drives off to jail]

Mrs. Puff

I can't believe it. It was all a dream. I'm not going to jail!

MOfficer Malley (Orange)

Why would you go to jail? You already did your time. [zoom out to reveal Mrs. Puff wearing prison striped clothes of black and white with a prison ball chained to her ankle. She squeals as the scene goes back to her hollering while the boat is in mid-air again as she's driving it with the police behind her]

Mrs. Puff

Huh? Oh... it's just my imagination again. [zooms out to show Donna driving the boat]

DDonna

So, what's for dinner tonight, Puff Mama, chili? [Mrs. Puff hollers again as the scene goes back to her final hollering with SpongeBob driving the boat in mid-air one last time, but without the police cars behind them]

Mrs. Puff

Huh? What? Huh? Ah, forget it. [the episode ends]

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