SpongeBob SquarePants · Season 2
“Grandma's Kisses” · Season 2
In this episode: Abrasive SpongeBob (3), Patrick (1), Squidward (1)
You're wrong! There's nothing wrong with getting kisses from your grandma!
No. Especially if you're a BIG BABY who wears DIAPERS! [group laughs] And sucks his thumb, and plays with dolls, and, um... wears pajamas with feet in 'em, and carries his, um... blankie around, and uh...
[annoyed] ALL RIGHT ALREADY!
Cheer up, SpongeBob. I know someone who still likes you.
Really? You do, Squidward?
Yeah, your grandma!
You know how grandmas are, they love babies. You just can't act like a baby around her.
You're right, Patrick.
Have I ever not been right? [The scene cuts to a picture of SpongeBob on a giant red firecracker, a picture of SpongeBob with a giant funnel in his mouth while Patrick holds a giant pumpkin, and a picture of SpongeBob and Patrick in black speedos while a wolf whistle is heard in the background] You're a man now, SpongeBob, and it's time you starting acting like one.
Yeah! Oh, but I'm not sure I know how.
Allow me to demonstrate. First, puff out your chest. [SpongeBob obediently puffs out his chest] And say 'tax exemption'.
Tax exemption.
Now you must acquire a taste for free-form jazz.
["Pressure Point" by Duncan Lamont plays, with SpongeBob and Patrick having serious expressions on their faces while listening]
Okay, SpongeBob, you're ready!
I'll bet you'd fancy a nap, huh, Patrick? [Patrick yawns] You still here, SpongeBob?
Uh, I don't need to leave yet. I can be late for work.
[puts a blanket over Patrick as he lays on the couch] No, no, no, that wouldn't be the adult thing to do.
Alright, I guess I'll be going. I've, uh, got a lot of adult-type business to take care of, so, I'll see ya later.
Okay, thanks for stopping by, SpongeBob.
Yep, that is it. Here I go.
Come again if you get the chance.
[opens the door] Out into the cold, grown-up world alone without a sweater.
Toodleloo.
I don't know when I'll be back.
I know how busy you are.
So, that's it. [Patrick is sleeping]
Shh, he's asleep.
So long... [SpongeBob slowly closes the door of grandma's house, but then slams it with a sad look on his face. He starts throwing a tantrum] I DON'T WANNA GROW UP! I want cookies! [holds a big cookie and snaps it in half in front of his face] And milky! [holds a giant milk bottle, then comes up with a sweater] I want a sweater with love in the stitches! I wanna wear diapers! [comes up with a diaper on and puts some baby powder into it] I wanna ride in my wagon! [rides in a wagon, then holds a big teddy bear] I wanna cuddle-wuddle with Mr. Stuffykins! I wanna rockey-rock my seahorsey! [rocks on his wooden seahorse with a hat and a lollipop] And I want a kissy on my boo-boo! [shows his bruised finger. He starts crying hysterically. He lies on the floor and cries while slamming his fists against the ground and then rolls like a wheel. Grandma looks at him sadly. SpongeBob then sits on the floor as his eyes pour tears into his mouth. Grandma thinks for a second. SpongeBob then starts crying like a sprinkler, flooding the entire house]
Take it easy, SpongeBob! [picks up SpongeBob, who is still crying] SpongeBob? SpongeBob! [she holds SpongeBob's mouth, stopping him from crying] SpongeBob, you don't have to be a baby to get all of Grandma's love.
[sniffs] I don't?
Of course not. [pushes a cork in the floor and all SpongeBob's tears drain out] No matter how big you get, you will always be my little baby boo, and remember, you can kiss your grandma and still be an adult. [hands SpongeBob his sideburns and a chocolate chip cookie] Here you go. [SpongeBob puts on his sideburns and eats the cookie]
Thanks, Grandma. [bites the cookie] Uh, Grandma, could you not mention this to the guys down at the Krusty Krab?
No problem. [hugs SpongeBob. Outside, Squidward and everyone else are laughing as the episode ends]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's SpongeBob SquarePants pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
