[to Stan and Kenny] Guys, can I talk to you?
Sure, dude.
I need you to keep quiet about this, alright?
[Cartman walks up]
My little brother and his teach—-
Bros, it's almost class time. Need ya start clearing the hallways, alright?
Not now, Cartman, I have really serious problems!
Dude, what's the matter?
The kindergarten teacher is having sex with my little brother.
[long silence]
Wow.
Really?!
Damn, bro, your lil' brother is pretty cool.
It's not cool! Ike isn't old enough to understand!
What's there to understand? You get a boner, slap her titties around a bit, then stick it inside her and pee.
[long pause]
[sarcastically] Stick it inside her and pee?
Well, okay, fine, unless you don't want her to get pregnant. Then you pull it out and pee on her leg.
Dude, I really don't see a problem.
Yeah, I got bigger things to deal with.
You guys don't understand! His wacko teacher's like a schoolgirl! They pass notes in the classroom, they have sex at her house over lunch break!
[Cartman starts to walk away]
And during class, they sneak out and kiss in the hallways!
[Cartman pauses, with an intense look on his face]
They what?
They sneak out during class and make out in the hallways!
[turns around] Hang on a second. Making out in the hallways is strictly against school policy.
Well, they're doing it.
Yeah, well, now it's personal. The hallways are my jurisdiction. If someone's making a hall infraction, they're gonna deal with the Dawg!
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