Lois Lane quotes from Smallville

Clark

People keep secrets for a reason.

Lois

I don't know. If you ask me, I think a secret is just a big loophole in the whole "thou shall not lie" clause.

Clark

There's just no gray area with you, is there?

Lois

Not when someone I thought I knew better than anyone has been keeping the biggest secret of all.

Clark

What are you talking about?

Lois

What would you do if one day you realized someone close to you had a serious hero complex?

Clark

Hero complex?

Lois

Hiding his true identity from everyone he supposedly cares about? You can't tell me you wouldn't find something wrong with that.

Clark

Who exactly are we talking about?

Chloe

The craziest part is he chucked a guy across an alley, right? [Lois: Oh yeah] And then supersped away. I mean, WHO does that?

Clark

Hmm. [pause] It's a good thing when Oliver showed up when he did. Then you know for sure.

Chloe

Oh, she knew before he showed up.

Clark

You did?

Chloe

Ask her how.

Clark

How?

Lois

I kissed him.

Chloe

Isn't that romantic? [Clark sighs and nods] Oh, I'm sorry Lois. Finish the story. [Clark tries to interrupt] This is the best part.

Lois

Hmmm. Well, he was holding me in his arms, and - Ollie's a good kisser, don't get me wrong - but that Green Arrow? He could teach Ollie a thing or two.

Oliver

Rain check?

Lois

Sure. I'll just put it next to the rest of the umbrellas you keep handing me. I mean, is it just me or is this relationship all interruptus and no coitus?

Oliver

Ever since my parents died, I've jumped around from city to city, from continent to continent and in all those years, not once have I regretted leaving anyone. But then I met you.

Lois

Then stay.

Oliver

I can't. Because there are more important things in this world than what I want.... and what I love. Someday I can explain why.

Lois

Don't expect me to be waiting around for that when you get back.

Oliver

I'm not coming back, Lois. At least not any time soon. I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you.

Lois

Well, you finally got around to it anyway, didn't you?

Oliver

This is it, the moment, right? The moment that I'm gonna regret for the rest of my life, isn't it?

Lois

Yes.

Lois

Please tell me we weren't just set up.

Clark

Looks like it.

Lois

Us. That's like hot fudge and halibut.

Clark

I take it I'm the halibut.

Lois

Naturally.

Lois

Wait. I knew I'd kissed you before, in the alley. You're Green Arrow.

Clark

Hardly. I was just pretending to be so you wouldn't know it was Oliver.

Lois

Oliver? Oh, my god. All those times he disappeared... what is my deal with emotionally unavailable weekend warriors? Thank god I finally found a normal guy.

Clark

What do you mean "normal"? Oliver's not even in the same league as me.

Lois

You don't have to be macho just for me. I like the dorky farm boy thing.

Clark

Dorkier than a hood and a quiver? Just because I don't wear a costume and splash my face all over the papers-

Lois

Clark! So what if your signature move is driving a tractor? I think it's adorable.

Clark

You know, Lois, I think that it's time for you to meet the real Clark Kent.

Clark

[Taking Lana] C'mon Lana, if no one else in this room is gonna save you from Lex, then I will.

Lois

[Holding Clark] I don't think so, Lana is your past.. I'm your future.

Clark

This is the present.

Clark

I'm not going to punch you, Lois.

Lois

Fine. Then you take the dive. (she punches Clark in his stomach and hurts her hand) That is not just a six-pack under your shirt! That's a steel kegger!

Clark

It will be just like old times, like when you first got to Smallville.

Lois

You're just hoping to catch me in the shower again.

Chloe

Look, Lois, take it from someone who's gone up against the Lex Luthor army more than once. Not only will victory remain elusive, but you're almost certain to step on a land mine in the process.

Lois

I'm the general's daughter, remember? I live for battle.

Lois

What? I can't believe you've never had famous franks before!

Grant Gabriel

I can't believe anyone's had famous franks. That thing could survive a nuclear holocaust!

Grant Gabriel

I'm glad I got that off my chest.

Lois

Wow. If news of that spread through the mail room I'd have my name on your door by tomorrow. That's sexual harassment.

Lois

But that wasn't.

Lois

(slapping Oliver across the face) That's for breaking my heart!

Oliver

(wincing) Really? 'Cause it felt like it was for not calling when I got back in town.

Lois

Oh, that one will come when you're least expecting it. Will you put a shirt on or something?

Oliver

The whole jumping to conclusions thing before you get the full story? How's that working out for you?

Lois

Huge time-saver.

Oliver

I missed you... more than you can possibly know.

Lois

If you think that glistening-muscle-answering the door in your bare chest routine was gonna work... you were dead on.

Oliver

Lois?

Lois

Oh, don't even think of looking at me now. So, in all those nights together, somewhere between brushing teeth and spooning in the sheets, you didn't think that it might be a good time to mention that you prowl the streets with green leather and a compound bow?

Oliver

Well, I don't usually bring the compound bow.

Lois

Oh, so now he's a funny hero. I can't believe you didn't tell me that you were Green Arrow!

Oliver

Hard to imagine why when you're taking it so well.

Lois

You think the lacerating ropes and platinum fembot... might have something to do with my lack of empathy? So, what? Little Ollie got bored with dodgeball in P.E... and decided to play William Tell? Whoa... wait a second. I kissed Green Arrow last year when you were standing there with me in the alley!

Oliver

Yeah. I remember that with precise detail.

Lois

I can't believe you! You, who were supposedly my boyfriend, arranged for me to be lip-locked with some wannabe hero!