Lois Lane quotes from Smallville

Lois

I just ran into Mrs. Kent at the Talon and right out of nowhere, she asked if I would like to move back in at the farm.

Clark

Yeah, right... Really?

Lois

I know, isn't that sweet? Oh, don't worry. You little snuggle bunnies can hop right on away. I'm a light sleeper. I'm going for a dip.

Clark

[to Lana] Do you think she could sleep through me smothering her with a pillow?

Lois

Clark, look, I'm not great at this, so just keep your mouth shut and listen up. Even though I was kicking butt on the helicopter, it was really nice to have backup. And you didn't have to come after me, but you always do. So I wanted to say thank you. You're a really good friend. Oh, and about the lap dance. If you decide to tell anyone about it, your Elmer Fudd nightlight will make a very public appearance.

Clark

Aye-Aye... sailor.

Lois

Let me give you a little friendly advice: Bow out of the race before a pesky little squirrel digs up one of your rotten acorns.

Lex

Well, thanks, Lois. You know, there's nothing more valuable than the savvy political advice of a muffin-peddling college dropout. Speaking of, do you have banana blueberry today?

Lana

What would you do if you thought you knew someone really well, and it turns out that there's this... whole other side to them?

Lois

Well, that depends. Are we in arms-dealer territory, or are we talking The Crying Game?

Lana

Nothing like that.

Lois

Then I guess the question is, does it change the way you feel about him?

Lana

Maybe.

Lois

Look, I don't know what's going on, but I would be lucky to end up with someone as honorable as Clark some day.

Clark

Lois, you don't know what goes on there. Do you really want Lex and these doctors getting inside Chloe's head?

Lois

If it makes her feel better, I don't care if Daffy Duck whacks her with a mallet!

Chloe

Guys, I'm drugged, not deaf.

Chloe

Oh my God. I just knocked out Martha Kent.

Lois

Well, considering she was about to redecorate her wallpaper with my brain matter, I don't think you had a choice!

Martha

So, how are you? Clark told me what happened.

Lois

Me? I'm fine. Getting swept off my feet by a notorious hit man is my way of living la vida loca.

Lois

I thought you would be outside Lana's dorm with your binoculars by now.

Clark

I appreciate your concern, but Lana and I are none of your business.

Lois

Please, Smallville, I've had three exes put under military surveillance. I'm hardly qualified to deal out post-relationship tact. But...it's for some tough love. Lana's going to move on.

Clark

She already has -- Lex.

Lois

And it sucks, but you gotta trust your gut that you did this for a reason. For whatever reasons guys have for dumping hot, smart, fun girls these days. Look, give her some space, Clark. Your whole night-stalker routine? That's gonna any good feelings that Lana has for you.

Clark

If there are any.

Lois

Look, sometimes you gotta tuck your feelings away until it's the right time. Like stuffing dollars into a piggy bank for a bike you can't quite afford.

Clark

Except I can't quite imagine there is anyone is out there.

Lois

Oh, you never know, Clark. Even if you finally crack open that piggy bank, you found all this time you haven't been saving for a bike. You been really saving it for a Harley.

Clark

There are times when think you don't know me at all...and others where I think you know me better than anyone.

Lois

That's what I'm here for, Smallville -- one save at a time.

Lois

Miracles really do happen: man walked on the moon, call waiting was created, and Lois Lane got her first by-line on the front page of the Inquisitor.

Chloe

Hey, that's great, Lo. I don't know how I feel about the alien angle, but...

Lois

I wasn't too crazy about the E.T. spin, either, but my editor insisted it'd help sell papers, so...

Clark

Well, let's hear it for journalistic integrity.

Lois

Look, I swear, you guys, when I was writing that article, I don't know... I don't think I've ever been happier in my life. The thrill of discovery, the clacking of keys, the scent of fresh ink. Yeah, I think I've finally found my calling.

Lois

[to Oliver] Well, I wasn't going to give it to you, but the tights... you're totally pulling it off.

Lex

You should see him in a tutu.

Oliver Queen

Lex Luthor... with a girl that he doesn't have to inflate.

Oliver

This is funny. You know, the way Lois talked about you, I thought you were gonna be a little bit more of a...

Clark

Little more what? Of a geek?

Lois

Well, you're not exactly jumping the velvet ropes at nightclubs, so...

Clark

It's really nice to see that Lois has found someone who can overlook her personality.

Oliver

Oh, don't worry about it, Clark. If I lived under the same roof with such a beautiful woman, I probably would mask my feelings in sarcasm, too.

Oliver

[discussing Lois investigating the Green Arrow] Look, forget about this guy for the weekend. I can have you in Cancun by sunset, sipping margaritas.

Lois

Well, as much as I'd love to be your beach bimbo, the only person I'll be spending my weekend with is into leather and has a perverted fetish for archery.

I saved you.

Lois

Yeah, from goons who were trying to find you. They're not the only one with a "V" for vendetta on your little leather ass.

Little? I've been really working the glutes lately, too.

Lois

Did the humor come with the costume?

Did the Tomb Raider routine come from wanting daddy's attention?

Lois

We've all done things we're not proud of. I just wish that Oliver didn't feel like he had to hide it from me.

Clark

You know, sometimes in order to protect the people we love, we keep secrets.

Lois

That is... totally retarded.

Lois

I don't get it. Of all the photographers in Metropolis, how is it that you end up with the first shots of our merry archer?

Jimmy

My connections.

Lois

No. Really.

Jimmy

Uh, well, the guy doesn't get out of the Suicide Slums much, so I just hung out there for a few weeks... in my car with my pepper spray and the doors locked.

Lois

This is it? A bunch of arms and legs? Nice work, hotshot. I mean, you didn't even manage to catch one shot of his face. All these tell me about Green Arrow is that he needs a band-aid.