Itsuki quotes from Shuffle!

Itsuki

We all know Rin's not qualified to make these decisions. Considering the gravity of the situation, it is up to me to choose the ultimate date location. [pulls out several photographic slides and inserts them into a projector] Behold, Cupid Land. [various images of the theme park appear on the projector screen] The seats on every ride are made for couples. It's made of lovers, by lovers and for lovers who are looking to share their love. No better place on earth to confess your feelings.

Itsuki

You had four girls vying for your attention, but you could only fall in love with one of them. No one can fault you for that, man. I think you made a smart move, your heart spoke to you and you listened. It said "choose Asa, she's your true love." I'm proud of you, man.

Itsuki

Kaede! Come into my bosom!

Kaede

Itsuki, um, what are you doing to Rin?

Rin

Welcome to my fist, Itsuki.

Itsuki

Rin, you are such a lucky bastard.

Rin

My luck sucks!

Rin

This isn't what you think.

Itsuki

Yeah it is cradle-robber.

Rin

You better shut up. You got about one minute before I sock you.

Itsuki

[laughing] I can't wait to see you in school tomorrow. Bye Rin.

Itsuki

We heard you tried to do dirty things to Nerine and she got mad and used her magic to blow you to smithereens, so we were worried.

Rin

If you keep making up weird rumors like that, you might just end up suffering the same fate as the gym.

Itsuki

Rin, Rin, Rin, so much to learn. Okay, young girls want only one thing, and that is to feel more like grown ups.

Rin

And what does that mean?

Itsuki

It means... lingerie! Yes, buy her lingerie and you get to pick out exactly what you want her to wear!

Rin

Somehow I don't think that's the answer, but thanks.

Itsuki

So what you're saying is you're living with a hot little sister who isn't actually related to you so if you look it's okay. Nice!

Rin

Your ability to turn an innocent situation into something obscene amazes me.

Itsuki

Oh hey, check it out. It looks like those two are about to start making out.

Mayumi

I didn't think Sia was so far in the lead against the other girls. Wow, this is a big scoop!

Kareha

Oh-la-la!

Rin

Uh, Kaede? Nerine? Itsuki? How? Mayumi? Where has everybody been hiding all this time?

Mayumi

What do you mean? That's what we've been wanting to ask you!

Nerine

You two just vanished all of the sudden and we couldn't figure out where you'd gone. We kept waiting for you to come back but you never did.

Mayumi

Finally! You two can run but you can't hide from me. [rushes over to the pair to keep them from escaping] Unbelievable!

Rin

What do you mean?

Sia

Mayumi, what's wrong?

Mayumi

"What's wrong?" Don't play dumb with me. How could you guys keep a huge scoop from me like that? It's so mean. You're going to make it right mister. Since you are the talk of the town right now it's only fitting that you grant your pal Mayumi an exclusive interview. [pretends to hold up a microphone] Mr. Tsuchimi, tell us, what was on your mind when you made your monumental decision? Was it hard? Are you happy? Are you listening?

Itsuki

Hey, like I said before buddy, don't worry. I'll take care of Kaede and Nerine for you. I'm strong enough to handle both those lovely ladies.

Rin

Wait, what are you guys talking about?

Itsuki

Oh come on, everyone knows by now. The man who could become a god or a demon has chosen... to be a god.

Mayumi

Hey, you guys are getting married, right?

Rin

[surprised] Eh?

Sia

[also surprised] What? We are?

Kareha

Aha, did I catch you two on a secret rendezvous?

Asa

No, we just came back from the riverbed.

Kareha

The riverbed? Oh, how perfect. [starts fantasizing]

Asa

Kareha, get a grip!

Rin

I don't think a thing you or I could say will make a difference, she's made up her mind.

Itsuki

Relax Rin, nothing to be embarrassed about. You're a young man, she's a voluptuous woman, certain urges creep up. Why, it's nothing unusual.

Shut up.

Itsuki

He just missed the perfect opportunity to grab her hand.

Mayumi

I have a horrible feeling this date is going to be a nightmare.

Rin

Nerine, why are you dressed like that?

Nerine

Well, my father told me to.

Itsuki

Who better to help clean an apartment than a maid? Nice thinking Ma-bo.

Itsuki

That being said, what do you say Kaede, do you want to go on a date with me?

Rin

Here we go.

Kaede

Oh, um thank you Itsuki, but I still have feelings for Rin. I'm sorry.

Itsuki

But he's got a girlfriend.

Kaede

Yeah, that's true, but you see, Asa told me it's okay if I still love him, and I do.

Itsuki

Good for you and Rin. And what about you Nerine? Wanna go out?

Nerine

I'm sorry, I'm sure you're a nice guy and would show me a fine time, but I've got a thing for Rin too.

Itsuki

How about you Sia?

Sia

Thanks, but the world of the Gods is a polygamist society, so I can still have Rin.

Itsuki

Crap.

Itsuki

Good morning Kaede-chan. Your beauty is a crime. May I arrest you?

Mayumi

That is the worst pick-up line I have ever heard in my life. Listen to what you just said!