Next up, a Florida man was found dead today, facedown in the lobster tank of a Tampa grocery store.
[Setting down bowls of cereal] Here you go. A proper breakfast. The sugar in this cereal will kill you. In your case, however, I suspect that your lifestyle will kill you before your diet does.
Ah. Ah.
Was that Mickey this morning?
Yup.
Where's he been?
With a twink named Byron.
Twink?
You know, like Ms. Del Rey's kid. Yoga pants and glitter. Eh, not always. But yeah, sure.
So if you tell someone you're not marrying them, that means they can sleep with other people?
No. But Mickey's emotional IQ is lower than Carl's actual IQ.
Shit. You're fսckеd, dude.
Nah, he'll work it out of his system and we'll talk it out like adults. It'll be fine.
[Comes in door with Lip] Hang on to your wallets, everyone. Lip is here.
Oh, there's my gorgeous niece. Prettier- mwah- than Megyn Kelly and smarter too. Oh, objectified by America and sexually harassed by your bosses? It's every girl's dream. Megyn Kelly? A blonde news host.
She thinks Santa's white.
He's not?
No.
Yes, honeybun!
Hey, did I hear a girly bike pull up this morning?
Mickey.
He's dating a twink now.
Oh, so you leaving him at the altar, that's become a thing, huh?
I- I didn't leave him at the altar.
Yes, you did.
I mean... It was City Hall. We were only getting married to outsmart the cops.
You made the right decision. Marriage is a sacred union between a man and a woman.
What's that smell? Self-righteousness.
No. The air smells...clean.
Where is Frank? Haven't seen him in a while.
Enjoy it while it lasts. He'll be back to stinking up the place in no time, right? [Sets do Freddie in kiddie pen] Oh, there you go.
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