I was staying at a motel in Gary, laying asphalt after high school. Invited the front-desk girl to my room for a few beers. We ended up having sex, but she kind of cried through the whole thing. What's that called?
Did you stop?
Banging her? Hell, no.
That's a Kobe.
You think she wanted me to stop?
You think she was crying because she was having a good time?
What's a Weinstein?
Being manipulative and pathetic.
About the only way I ever get sex is being manipulative and pathetic.
You ever jack off into a potted plant? Ask for massages wearing an open bathrobe? Hmm? Rape a couple dozen?
Allegedly.
No.
Then you're probably an Ansari.
What's an Ansari?
That's just being a dick.
Slipped a woman a Quaalude once.
Then fucked her?
Mm-hmm.
A Cosby.
What about that handsy Dr. Rob at the clinic, with the deep body hugs and the butt pats?
A Lasseter.
Who the hell's that?
Cartoon guy. He made Toy Story.
I love Toy Story. Buzz Lightyear! [Chuckles]
Holy shit.
What?
Willy wagging.
CK.
I mean, I slept with a woman I was dating's 19-year-old daughter last year. That got a name?
That's a Woody Allen.
W- she made all the first moves, though.
You're gonna need a bigger board for your list, babe.
Consent, gentlemen. [Picks up stack of forms] A clear and verbal consent to participate in sexual activity, [Dumps stack on counter] freely given and reversible.
Even if we're both naked and already doing it?
Even if you're already naked and banging. [Door opens] When she says "stop," you stop.
Kevin Ball?
That's me.
Beth Watson, Southside Beat.
Beth, thank you for coming. Can I get you something? Maybe a chilled glass of Chablis or a Cosmo?
Whiskey, neat.
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