I have two daughters. What kind of father am I if I'm also the owner of the local rapery?
V got to you, didn't she?
The Alibi should be a sanctuary, a haven where women can come, relax, and only get laid if they want to.
We could all use a place where we could get laid if we wanted to.
In this day and age, you can't say shit to a woman without her crying harassment. Hell, they'd sue their own reflections if they could.
I'm just not gonna talk to them anymore.
No one talks to your ass anyway.
Yeah, but if they did, I wouldn't say anything.
Creepily glaring at them is not the answer.
Hell, I probably catcalled nine or ten women yesterday.
You think women like that?
I'm in construction. I can't just change. Doesn't matter if time's up or not. If a chick walks by, I instinctively grab my balls, and yell Suck on this." It's just what happens.
All right, let's start there. You can't call 'em chicks anymore.
Tail?
No.
Wool?
No.
Women?
Mm, I don't think so. Contains the word "men." I got it. [Snaps fingers] Vaginal enterprises.
Okay, I'm out.
Maybe we should just stick with "women."
Oh. Some... women...
That's better.
[Laughs] Some women like to be told they're pretty.
Mm-hmm.
Now, how are we supposed to know the difference between the ones that like it and the ones that don't?
Old women like being hit on. Maybe we should just allow the old women in.
Kermit!
Why the hell would we want that?
We need a consistent standard.
All right, here's your standard. Assume you are disgusting, that no one wants you to touch them, and they couldn't care less if you think they're pretty or not-- there's your damn standard.
Kermit; I've never been so confused.
The bottom line is that the bar can't be rapey anymore. If women stay away, bad for business. Plus, rapey is wrong. A-and more importantly, rapey is wrong.
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