Samantha Jones quotes from Sex and the City

Charlotte

I can't believe you took ecstasy from a stranger!

Samantha

It wasn't a stranger! It was a friend of my friend Bobby's friend Bobby.

Miranda

Oh, well, then you know it's safe.

Samantha

[to the girls] That fucking Richard is fucking the entire styles section, and for the first time in my life, I actually give a shit! I think I have monogamy. I must've caught it from you people!

Carrie

Now it's airborne.

Miranda

[reading the card Richard wrote Samantha] "Style for style. Best, Richard."

Carrie

"Best." Yikes.

Miranda

"Best" is the worst.

Carrie

Yeah, even Gold and Vogel give you "sincerely."

Samantha

"Best" is like signing "Not love."

Samantha

Is a three-way with a 21-year-old a bad idea for Richard's birthday?

Carrie

What are you gonna give him next year? A four-way?

Miranda

[about her baby shower] But who would I invite besides you guys?

Samantha

All the bitches that made you go to theirs!

Samantha

You want out of this, just say it.

Richard

I don't wanna have sex once and I want out?

Samantha

Not just once. What about yesterday?

Richard

We were at the opera!

Samantha

I was bored!

Ma'am, it's against city law to deface public property.

Samantha

This man said he loved me, and I caught him eating another woman's pussy.

Carry on, ma'am.

Samantha

My friends don't believe you.

Richard

Am I dating your friends?

Samantha

With your track record, I wouldn't put it past you.

Richard

[to Samantha] Maybe later, if you're good, I'll give you a pearl necklace to match.

Charlotte

My father gave me the most beautiful pearl necklace for my sweet sixteen.

Samantha

Actually, we're talking about the other kind of pearl necklace. You know, when a guy decorates your neck.

Samantha

I just ran up eleven flights of stairs because I was sure that you were up here fucking someone else.

Richard

As you can see, I'm not.

Samantha

Right now! Right now you're not! But you were, and you will again! And I can't spend my life running up and down stairs wondering when! I thought I could handle this, but I can't. I'm too old. I'm 37, after all.

Richard

I told you I'd do my best never to hurt you again, and I meant it.

Samantha

Right. Your best.

Richard

Samantha, I love you.

Samantha

I love you, too, Richard, but I love me more.

Samantha

If I walked in on you, giving a blowjob to a Worldwide Express guy—

Carrie

You would never walk in on me, because that is something I would never do!

Samantha

There! And I cannot believe that you would judge me, after everything that we've been through.

Carrie

Samantha, where are you going?

Samantha

I'm gonna splash some water on my face, and then I'm going home. And I will not be judged by you or society. I will wear whatever, and blow whomever I want, as long as I can breathe and kneel!

Charlotte

[about Jack Berger and his girlfriend] He should have mentioned her earlier.

Samantha

But not too early. I hate it when men do that. "I have a girlfriend." Calm down, I just asked if that seat was taken!

Carrie

[about Nina Katz] Damn! Why is that girl still bothering me?

Samantha

Honey, you have to let it go. If I worried what every bitch in New York was saying about me, I'd never leave the house.

Samantha

[after Carrie asks her to help Miranda with her baby] Babies are not my scene! And from what I've heard, this one sounds like an asshole.

Carrie

You can't call a baby an asshole.

Samantha

Why not? She called it a meatloaf.

Miranda

It's times like this I wish women could go to male prostitutes.

Samantha

Women do.

Carrie

No, no, only in bad screenplays and first novels.

Miranda

That is an incredible investment idea. We should open a brothel where the men are cute and the sheets are 500-count Egyptian cotton. Samantha, you can be the madam.

Samantha

Well, at least it's something new.

Carrie

We could put one in every neighborhood, like Starbucks.

Samantha

Starfucks.