Paige Dineen quotes from Scorpion

I like packing. It's like Tetris.

Let me guess, Tetris comparison was your idea?

Paige Dineen

Handling geniuses is literally my job description.

Did someone mention Tetris? You know, the geometrical construct of that game has applications in computational complexity theory.

Paige Dineen

Interesting. Why don't you take your bag and go play it with Ralph?

Excellent idea!

You're good at your job.

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Happy Quinn

She was begging you to take her to that Italian joint!

No, I'm pretty sure that was just a conversation between two adults.

Paige Dineen

Alright adults, let's hit it. Cabe, she wanted you to ask her out. You suck at girls.

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Veronica Dineen

What the hell happened here?

Paige Dineen

I left Walter in charge.

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Paige Dineen

What is this?....We're doing the Department of Energy server upgrade today.

Nope. That job has been postponed indefinitely.

Paige Dineen

What? I spent weeks landing that contract.

And Walt spent minutes dismantling it.

Paige Dineen

Explanation. Now.

Well, it's quite simple, really. Our point person at the DOE kept saying he was going to pay us a hundred and nine thousand dollars.

Paige Dineen

Yes, that's what we agreed to. One hundred nine thousand.

No-o-o that's not what he said.

Happy Quinn

Here we go.

He said a hundred AND nine thousand dollars. That's a hundred dollar bill, and nine thousand dollars. That's substantially less than our fee.

Paige Dineen

For the love of God, Walter, it's an expression.

"Make haste not waste" is an expression. "A penny for your thoughts" is an expression.

Paige Dineen

"Not playing with a full deck" is an expression!

Exactly, but what the DOE rep said was mathematically inaccurate. And I told him. Repeatedly. People don't wanna better themselves?

Paige Dineen

The irony of that question is completely lost on you, isn't it?

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Hey Ralph, can you help me out with this motor?

I wouldn't be of much service. I'm a bit distracted today.

What's wrong, buddy?

Something at school.

Is it physics? Calculus? We can help.

Two girls asked me to the Valentine's Dance.

We can't help.

I don't know who to pick. I don't wanna hurt anyone's feelings.

...

That's an easy solve. Take them both, alternate dancing with them every other song. Efficient.

I don't think they'll like that very much.

Ralph, don't stress. The probability of either of these girls being the one is very low. Only 2 percent of childhood sweethearts wind up together.

Paige Dineen

Sweethearts? What are you guys chatting about?

Nothing. Sociology. Ride's here, gotta go.

Paige Dineen

Bye... What just happened here?

Here? Nothing.

Paige Dineen

Does Ralph have a sweetheart?

Sorry, can't answer. Bro code.

Yeah. Bro code. [Paige twists his ear] Ahh! Ralph got asked to the Valentine's Dance by two different girls and he doesn't know what to do!

Paige Dineen

Why wouldn't he come to me with this problem?

Yeah, boys love to go to their moms with girl problems.

He trusts us to give sound advice.

Paige Dineen

About girls?! What's next, you guys gonna teach him how to play football?!

...

That football comment, that was sarcasm right?

No, she really thinks you should teach Ralph how to tackle.

I think that was more sarcasm.

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OK, one of you get online and win your way into that tournament. [no one moves] What's the hold up?

We don't play chess.

Not anymore.

Why the hell not?!

Paige Dineen

Why are we looking at a coat hook?

That is not a coat hook; that is a coat rook. Wound up in this wall five years ago.

After a week-long chess tournament.

A tournament that went horribly wrong.

Paige Dineen

You threw a rook in the wall?

Wasn't me.

Nope.

It was a three-way tie for points! I was about to engage a masterful attack: the bishop's gambit. But then Walter sneezed on my knight.

It was an accident.

J'accuse! My knight was covered in your mucus. The one piece I needed just happened to be the one you doused with your filth.

One, I do not have the ability to aim my mucus. Two, you could have cleaned it off.

Not without touching it! I played half the game with a dead pony!

At checkmate, Sly whipped this rook at Walt's head.

Not a half-bad arm.

It was unbecoming.

So we vowed never to play the game again for the sake of the team, and our friendship.

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Paige Dineen

Tim took the promotion because we both realized it wasn't gonna work out between us.

Oh. I'm sorry. I'll give you some space.

Paige Dineen

Walter? I know what you're doing. Being a good listener, giving me space, being understanding--

Did you hear us both talking? Because just 'cause I got it from a ladies' magazine doesn't mean I'm not sincere.

Paige Dineen

I--I didn't hear anything. But I appreciate you trying. And I do feel like you're being sincere.

Well, um, sincerely, I am sorry that you're sad about Tim.

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Spiked punch! Just like a real prom.

Like you'd know.

Paige Dineen

Don't drink the punch, Ralph.

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Paige Dineen

You just brokered a peace treaty. Like a real statesman!

I almost threw up twice.

Paige Dineen

Let's keep that between us.