Ralph Dineen quotes from Scorpion

Ralph Dineen

Hi Walter. It's me again. Can you call me back please? I promise my call will be efficient.

Ralph Dineen

Just dance, monkey!

Ralph Dineen

Mom, I really need your help with the dance....It seems at these things they use the word as a verb as well as a noun. And I don't know how to do the verb.

Walter O'Brien

Do you ever pause your dreams, Ralph?

Ralph Dineen

Yeah.

Walter O'Brien

Ever rewind them?

Ralph Dineen

Sometimes.

Walter O'Brien

Yeah, me too.

Paige Dineen

What do you remember about your father?

Ralph Dineen

He was tall. He liked his toast burnt. And he left to see a movie.

Paige Dineen

What?

Ralph Dineen

When we left for L.A., he said he'd catch up with us later, he was just going to see a movie. There were 12 theaters within 20 miles of our home, 48 screens, 227 showings, average runtime 112 minutes. Maybe he just wanted to stay and see more movies.

How did you find the dark site where it was posted? And do not tell me that you just found it!

Ralph Dineen

[barely audible] Walter showed it to me.

Walter. Walter O'Brien.

Ralph Dineen

And he taught me decryption. I didn't know it was bad.

Cabe Gallo

Who's Jackson Wyles?

Ralph Dineen

Nobody.

Cabe Gallo

There's two identical math sheets, one with your name on it, one with his.

Paige Dineen

Ralph, why are you doing someone's homework for them?

Ralph Dineen

To avoid injury.

Sylvester Dodd

That's a good reason

Cabe Gallo

Son, you can't let yourself get bullied. You gotta stand up for yourself. You know how to fight?

Paige Dineen

He's not fighting.

Cabe Gallo

That's the problem--he should be. Knock Jackson Wyles on his ass.

Happy Quinn

Nothing stops a punk faster than a shot right to the snout.

Paige Dineen

Thanks for the advice, but no.

Cabe Gallo

I got an idea.

Paige Dineen

Ralph, don't worry. I'm gonna set up a meeting with your principal and this Jackson Wyles' parents.

Sylvester Dodd

Involving the bully's parents might be poking the bear. Ralph, how fast can you run?

Paige Dineen

He's not going to run away. He's going to face his problems.

Toby Curtis

His problem is probably twice his size and skilled at wedgies and rear admirals.

Ralph Dineen

And the dreaded covered wagon.

Sylvester Dodd

Maybe he shouldn't be wearing underwear.

Paige Dineen

What?! I appreciate everyone's concern, but none of you are his mom.

Ralph Dineen

I can handle this.

Walter O'Brien

You can handle what? Everything OK, Ralph?

Paige Dineen

Some kid's making Ralph do his homework for him.

Walter O'Brien

Good, that is the perfect reason for Ralph to leave that school. He is smarter than everyone there, including the teachers. The guys and I will homeschool him from here.

Paige Dineen

Worst idea yet.

I think Toby's right. He's always right, or my name isn't Paige Dineen.

Toby Curtis

Tweaked Walt's voice-adaptation software. It'll record the basic tone of anyone's voice, then it perfectly mimics whatever you type in.... And it is clearly not the time to unveil it.

Paige Dineen

Thank God, this conversation's over. Sweetheart, I want you to avoid that boy today, and I'm gonna call Principal Pastorneck.

Ralph Dineen

Don't, I can handle this. Just give me one day?

Paige Dineen

Ok. Love you.

Sylvester Dodd

Stay strong.

Cabe Gallo

Hey, where you goin' kid? I just got the heavy bag up!

Ralph Dineen

I gotta go; you can teach me to hit people later.

Toby Curtis

Holy TV stars!

[on TV] I'm here with Ralph Dineen. Hi Ralph!

Ralph Dineen

[on TV] Hello.

Paige Dineen

Ralph get in here!

[on TV] Ralph, I understand you've just been accepted to Harvard, MIT, Caltech, to name a few. Not bad for a 10-year-old. How did this happen?

Ralph Dineen

[on TV] I applied.

[on TV] Really, does your mom--

Ralph Dineen

Now I'm a celebrity at school. Kids don't pick on celebrities.

Walter O'Brien

He's right. I mean, this was an efficient plan involving zero confrontation.

Paige Dineen

I never signed off on TV interviews.

Of course you can speak to my son Ralph, I'm so proud of him.

Walter O'Brien

I've been saying for months that Ralph needs to ditch that school.

Ralph Dineen

I'm staying in elementary school. If I can't relate to humans, I'll turn out like you guys.

Does Ralph play sports?

Paige Dineen

Ralph is more of an indoor cat.

Ralph Dineen

My telescope has a six-inch F8 reflector. Most are eight inches now, but I prefer the older version.

Ralph Dineen

Give me the 9-volt battery from your stud finder.

Toby Curtis

Stud finder? I can't go near those things, they just go off.

Paige Dineen

Uh, you wanna fill me in here?

Ralph Dineen

Most electronic doors use a servomotor. A computer sends an electronic signal to unlock it. But since that computer isn't working, I'll send the signal myself.

Paige Dineen

That's why he doesn't have time for scouts.

Walter O'Brien

Ralph, have you accessed the system?

Ralph Dineen

Almost there.

Paige Dineen

Uh, by the way, where's your sitter?

Ralph Dineen

Downstairs on her phone. I gave her a soda.

Sylvester Dodd

I know severe stress when I see it. Special Forces or not, the human body can only take so much.

Ralph Dineen

Captain Decker, your file says you're 28, so you were 18 in 2005.

I guess so.

Ralph Dineen

My mom likes songs from when she was a teenager. I'll send you one from 2005. By the time it's over, you'll be 3 minutes and 49 seconds closer to being saved.

Toby Curtis

Is this beef barley? How'd you know my favorite soup?

Ralph Dineen

Eat it. You look awful.

Happy Quinn

You got his favorite soup? Tea?

Ralph Dineen

Everything that you said.

Happy Quinn

OK, good boy. pays Ralph for baby-sitting Toby

Ralph Dineen

You always yell at Toby. Why'd you want me to do all this?

Happy Quinn

The truth is, I'm falling for the guy.

Ralph Dineen

Eww, gross.

Happy Quinn

I know, right?

Ralph Dineen

Good job, Mom. Fair, but stern.

Paige Dineen

I may not be a genius, but I can still tell when you want something.