Happy Quinn quotes from Scorpion

Happy Quinn

I know I've said this before, but not good.

Happy Quinn

Facts aren't useless. They're the foundation of rational thought.

Happy Quinn

Really, Doc? You've really never been happier?

Happy Quinn

You're holding the bunny way too tight, Lennie.

Happy Quinn

Paige gave you some tools to be a quasi-human. You just gotta use 'em.

Happy Quinn

Not good.

Sylvester Dodd

Screw this up, brains and guts are gonna ignite all over town!

Happy Quinn

Actually, fuel tanks ignite on impact. You won't find a body part.

Toby Curtis

Mmm, blood-soaked spleen could burn at a slower rate.

Paige Dineen

Hey! Please check your language around my 9-year-old.

Happy Quinn

Tools don't let you down. Only people do.

Toby Curtis

Spending your life scared to connect to anyone isn't any way to live.

Mr. O'Brien, I understand you waived your public defender.

Walter O'Brien

Correct, yes, I don't need one since this court can't provide me with a fair trial. You see, it's my constitutional right to a jury of my peers, which means you'd have to find 12 residents of Clark County, Nevada, with an IQ of 197 or above. And I've spent some time in Clark County. I can tell you, that's not gonna happen.

Happy Quinn

Not good.

Walter O'Brien

There's no option but to release me.

Bail is set at $500,000.

Safe to say this is when the mission went from the frying pan into the fryer.

Happy Quinn

Safe to say anything you want, unless it pisses me off.

Paige Dineen

Oh no. [runs downstairs to stop recording]

Toby Curtis

What the hell was that all about?

Paige Dineen

Nothing. An acquaintance.

Toby Curtis

You don't sprint downstairs for an acquaintance.

Happy Quinn

Who's Drew?

Paige Dineen

Old friend.

Toby Curtis

Bump from acquaintance to old friend in 3 seconds. Interesting.

Paige Dineen

Look, it's really not important.

Toby Curtis

You just put your hand on your stomach. It's a conscious protection marker where you once carried a child.

Walter O'Brien

Is Drew Ralph's father?

Sylvester Dodd

I didn't know Ralph had a father.

Happy Quinn

How exactly do you think babies are made?

Sylvester Dodd

You know what I mean.

Paige Dineen

Not that it's any of your business, but Ralph's dad is a minor-league baseball player and--

Toby Curtis

Great, a jock!

Paige Dineen

--we bounced around a lot, team to team, and we agreed Ralph should have some stability. We settled in L.A. and Drew was gonna come out after a season. He got a job pitching in Mexico, then Tampa, and you can fill in the rest.

Walter O'Brien

How long has it been since he's seen Ralph?

Paige Dineen

Seven years.

Toby Curtis

Oh that's great. Father of the year. Excuse me, seven years.

Cabe Gallo

I'm amazed that geniuses can even get duped.

Walter O'Brien

Easily. We become so focused that we lose peripheral vision, and it's on the outskirts where ulterior motives lie.

Sylvester Dodd

Geniuses state facts, so we assume others state facts, too.

Walter O'Brien

If you become ostracized from an early age for being different, or if someone targets you because they have something to gain, you don't see their motives until it's too late. After awhile, it starts to affect your core self. You trust no one, you grow up to be distant.

Happy Quinn

Like Walter.

Walter O'Brien

Or scared of your own shadow.

Sylvester Dodd

Like me.

Walter O'Brien

Angry.

Happy Quinn

Present.

Walter O'Brien

Or a condescending jerk.

Like Toby.

Happy Quinn

Agent Gallo, Homeland Security.

What kind of name is Cabe?

Happy Quinn

It's 'Cah-beh.' My mother's Korean.

Oh, sorry. I didn't mean anything by it.

Happy Quinn

No one ever does.

Toby Curtis

[on comms] This is perfect. Now he's feeling guilty and self-conscious. Drop a little civics lesson.

Happy Quinn

I'm here to do the DHS inspection.

Inspectors were already here.

Happy Quinn

Local PD was, not us. A congressman died. Homeland's involved.

Toby Curtis

This is perfect, now he's feeling stupid. You've got him right where you want him, now make him insecure.

Happy Quinn

I have work to do, so should I call your supervisor or mine?

Toby Curtis

And shoulders will be slouching in 3... 2... 1.

Toby Curtis

This is like fish in a barrel.

Happy Quinn

Good talk.

Megan O'Brien

I thought you guys were geniuses. Someone say something smart.

Paige Dineen

Hi, Megan, I'm Paige. They were just playing a spirited game of--

Toby Curtis

Move Sylvester's Stuff Around.

Paige Dineen

Yeah, so they're a little out of it. [pause] Guys, this is when you introdu--

Sylvester Dodd

Yes, OK. Hello, Megan. Nice to meet you. Walter's told me so much about you.

Megan O'Brien

No, he hasn't.

Sylvester Dodd

No, he hasn't.

Toby Curtis

Hey. Dr. Tobias M. Curtis. It's a pleasure.

Happy Quinn

Hey. I'm Happy.

Megan O'Brien

And I'm dying, but you don't see me telling everyone.

Toby Curtis

Yes! Inappropriate self-deprecating humor to put others at ease. I like your approach.

Megan O'Brien

I like your hat.

Happy Quinn

Why do you do that? As soon as you become human, you switch to wise ass.

Toby Curtis

Textbook defense mechanism to hide how I feel. Especially around you. You're so smart, and capable, and fun. And that personality happens to be wrapped in a nice little package. So I say stupid things to hide feelings that you already know that I have. And we got no food, water, or any idea where we are, so if we're gonna die, I might as well say some stuff. So there.

Happy Quinn

You done?

Toby Curtis

Do you see that? You are doing exactly what you said I do. When things get real, I make wise cracks; you put on your armor.