A character in Scorpion
Played by Jadyn Wong
Scorpion · 241 quotes
3rd most-quoted character in Scorpion: in 71 of its 241 quotes
Most scenes with: Toby Curtis (41), Walter O'Brien (30), Sylvester Dodd (19)
Happy QuinnHow long until we ditch this weasel?
What you don't like pets?
Happy QuinnI wasn't talking about the ferret.
How long are you gonna punish me for sleeping through our date?
Happy QuinnWhat's your life span?
Why's the kid in a monkey suit?
Picture day. So cute, he wanted to pick the outfit himself.
You don't see what's goin' on there?
No.
Hey, Ralphie boy, could you do Uncle Toby a favor and take off that jacket, you don't wanna get grease on it.
Happy QuinnYou better roll up those sleeves too, buddy, just to be safe.
Paige realizes that Ralph is dressed exactly like Walter.
Congratulations. You're raising Walter.
Oh God.
Do you know what this badge means?
Happy QuinnThat you got D's in high school?
How long would it take you to make an EMP device?
Happy QuinnFast enough. I just need to get my hands on some microwave ovens.
...
Microwave ovens?
Well, how would you build an EMP?
Oh, that's a wrinkle.
[listening on comms] What did he say?
Happy Quinn"That's a wrinkle"?
What's a wrinkle?
Walter's parachute lands on the ground next to Cabe, Happy, and Toby.
Oh, that's a wrinkle.
Happy QuinnNot good.
Who's Jackson Wyles?
Nobody.
There's two identical math sheets, one with your name on it, one with his.
Ralph, why are you doing someone's homework for them?
To avoid injury.
That's a good reason
Son, you can't let yourself get bullied. You gotta stand up for yourself. You know how to fight?
He's not fighting.
That's the problem--he should be. Knock Jackson Wyles on his ass.
Happy QuinnNothing stops a punk faster than a shot right to the snout.
Thanks for the advice, but no.
I got an idea.
Ralph, don't worry. I'm gonna set up a meeting with your principal and this Jackson Wyles' parents.
Involving the bully's parents might be poking the bear. Ralph, how fast can you run?
He's not going to run away. He's going to face his problems.
His problem is probably twice his size and skilled at wedgies and rear admirals.
And the dreaded covered wagon.
Maybe he shouldn't be wearing underwear.
What?! I appreciate everyone's concern, but none of you are his mom.
I can handle this.
You can handle what? Everything OK, Ralph?
Some kid's making Ralph do his homework for him.
Good, that is the perfect reason for Ralph to leave that school. He is smarter than everyone there, including the teachers. The guys and I will homeschool him from here.
Worst idea yet.
I think Toby's right. He's always right, or my name isn't Paige Dineen.
Tweaked Walt's voice-adaptation software. It'll record the basic tone of anyone's voice, then it perfectly mimics whatever you type in.... And it is clearly not the time to unveil it.
Thank God, this conversation's over. Sweetheart, I want you to avoid that boy today, and I'm gonna call Principal Pastorneck.
Don't, I can handle this. Just give me one day?
Ok. Love you.
Stay strong.
Hey, where you goin' kid? I just got the heavy bag up!
I gotta go; you can teach me to hit people later.
Because this is a black operation, my information is need-to-know. Walter O'Brien, Cabe Gallo, Happy Quinn, join me in my SUV.
Hmm. Are you heading north or south? Ooh, eye flutter on south. Huntington? Long Beach? San Pedro? San Pedro it is. Meaning water. The ports.
A frigate!
Can we leave now?
You can only take three of the team, so space is an issue. A submarine? It's a submarine, isn't it? Anyway, Homeland needs Scorpion's help for a black ops nuclear submarine mission deep in international waters off the coast of California? Yep!
Toby and Sylvester bump fists.
They'll be needing me to code? I'll get my laptop.
Happy QuinnAnd I will be building something, so I'll get my tools.
And I will get my party hat because I don't have to go on a submarine.
And I'll be going to keep anyone from wanting to kill them.
Happy QuinnWalt, we've got less than a minute now. This is normally when you think of something brilliant, so how's that coming?
The escape pod. The oxygen tank could be used as an escape pod!
Happy QuinnI asked for brilliant. I already told you there's too many bodies for buoyancy. We'll just sit there in the water.
Yeah, normally we would, but in our present circumstances, we're likely to be propelled upward from the blast.
You really think we can ride the explosion of the submarine?
Yes. [pause] Maybe, I don't know. Or we die.
The team, except Sylvester, has to dress as characters from the Super Fun Guy comics as a disguise.
I'm startin' to think we should just let 'em have the nuke....With great responsibility comes great wedgie.
This is just wrong.
...
Happy QuinnDon't say anything.
Just friends.
I don't know how the actors move in these things.
I want Homeland to double our fee. I feel absurd. I don't like feeling absurd.
What is that? points to Ray's "Team Scorpeon" T-shirt
Just a T-shirt.
Happy QuinnYou are not part of Scorpion!
But I live here.
Happy QuinnSo does a possum, in the rafter.
Well, I did kinda help you guys, you know, get out of Kazakhstan.
Happy QuinnBut it's spelled wrong. We're a team of geniuses.
Two P's. Got it.
Happy QuinnHey, John McClane! Need a ride?
Who's John McClane?
Happy QuinnJust a movie, never mind.
[later]
Dude! It is just like that move!
Oh yeah, with John McCain.
No, not quite.
Happy QuinnBetter hurry if you're gonna catch that train!
Really?
Happy QuinnI couldn't help myself.
Happy QuinnKnock knock.
[silence]
Happy QuinnKnock knock!
Who's there?
Happy QuinnMatthew.
Matthew who?
Happy QuinnMatthew could never do unless you had an IQ of 184!
[Audience is silent, except for Sylvester, who laughs hysterically]
Happy QuinnAmmonium and sodium hypochlorite hook up at a bar. Everyone inside dies.
[laughing] It's funny because it's true!
Happy QuinnI've been reading this great book on anti-gravity; I can't put it down. I have this new theory on inertia, but it's not gaining any momentum.
[Sylvester is having trouble breathing because he is laughing so hard.]
Happy QuinnThank you.
Well, that was factual.
Happy QuinnThis is crazy that we're doing this, right?
Well, psychologically speaking, crazy is a catchall for a myriad of pathologies and circumstances. But yeah, this is nuttier than a fruitcake.
Why do you want to go Pi Up?
School spirit, to help with your great charitable work, and of course, sisterhood.
Happy QuinnI need a place to live, and this house has decent craftsmanship.
Toby CurtisEddie Kaye Thomas · 117 quotes
Walter O'BrienElyes Gabel · 106 quotes
Paige DineenKatharine McPhee · 69 quotes
Sylvester DoddAri Stidham · 63 quotes
Cabe GalloRobert Patrick · 48 quotes
Ralph DineenRiley B. Smith · 23 quotes
Ray SpiewackKevin Weisman · 6 quotes
Drew BakerBrendan Hines · 5 quotes
Megan O'BrienCamille Guaty · 4 quotes
Tim ArmstrongScott Porter · 3 quotes
Veronica DineenLea Thompson · 3 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Scorpion pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.