Happy Quinn quotes from Scorpion

Paige Dineen

Sylvester?

Sylvester Dodd

Yep?

Paige Dineen

Any reason you won't make eye contact with me?

Sylvester Dodd

Yes. I'm uncomfortable because we eavesdropped.

Toby Curtis

Way to stay strong, Sly.

Happy Quinn

It was Toby's idea.

Toby Curtis

You guys fold like a card table.

Toby Curtis

Is there a reason you had a fake-blood bag and a retractable knife just lying around?

Happy Quinn

I had to teach an old boyfriend a lesson.

Happy Quinn

Touch it and you will have a blue Christmas.

Toby Curtis

I helped, too!

Happy Quinn

Walter designed it. Sylvester calculated it. I built it. What was your job?

Toby Curtis

Moral support.

Sylvester Dodd

Toby, a few weeks ago I was in a hospital getting shrapnel taken out of my chest, and I still did more work for this project than you did.

Toby Curtis

Grinch.

Happy Quinn

Faster, Grandpa!

Toby Curtis

I'm right on his bumper!

Happy Quinn

I should have driven.

Toby Curtis

Hey, I have seen you drive. We can't save Owen if we're both dead.

Toby Curtis

Happy, I gotta cross a line here. Do you have a tampon?

Happy Quinn

Excuse me?!

Toby Curtis

It'll absorb the blood, expand, increase the pressure, and stop the bleeding.

Happy Quinn

Toolbox, bottom compartment.

Happy Quinn

I can't believe this was online for seven years and you never said anything about it.

Sylvester Dodd

The fashion is unflattering and the dance is derivative.

Happy Quinn

Who's gonna be Marvin?

Cabe Gallo

Well, Interpol's still doing a background on Sima, but there's no question she's probably dangerous. So I'll do it.

Walter O'Brien

No, you're Homeland, you're former FBI. She could have intel on our agents. We can't risk her ID'ing you.

Toby Curtis

Sylvester can't do it, he's a nervous wreck, he'd barf all over her.

Sylvester Dodd

I would.

Toby Curtis

I guess I'll have to do it. I just hope she doesn't fall in love with me, too.

Cabe Gallo

No. Intel indicates that she probably works alone, but we can't be too careful. We need someone to profile the crowd in that bar and make sure she has no collaborators.

Paige Dineen

So we're down to Walter? Am I the only person who just heard that phone call?

Walter O'Brien

Oh, I learned a lot from that exchange!

Paige Dineen

After hearing your performance on the phone, you're gonna need help. I'll be your Cyrano.

Walter O'Brien

The story of the guy with rhinophyma, the large nose disease.

Paige Dineen

You missed the whole love story?!

Walter O'Brien

I was focused on his medical condition.

Cabe Gallo

Hey! How come a bunch of geniuses can't answer a phone?!

Sylvester Dodd

I don't carry my phone on me. Radiation.

Happy Quinn

I was welding.

Paige Dineen

Mine's in my bag.

Walter O'Brien

Couldn't hear it over the rocket.

Cabe Gallo

Of course. And what about you, Doc?

Toby Curtis

I keep mine off; I owe a bookie.

Happy Quinn

Are you kidding me?

Who are you?

Happy Quinn

Very embarrassed person.

What?

Happy Quinn

I got kidnapped by a fourth grader.

Toby Curtis

Where you been?

Happy Quinn

I...got kidnapped

Toby Curtis

What?

Walter O'Brien

Kidnapped by who?

Happy Quinn

This guy. [pulls Paco inside the room] He wasn't good at it.

Walter O'Brien

You recognize that gun? The motion sensor is calibrated to not shoot anything before the door. But it will take out anything that moves on the other side of it.

Toby Curtis

Unfortunately, that's the side you're on.

Happy Quinn

I improved your gun. You so much as move a trigger finger, you're dead.

Walter O'Brien

Now, I put a 24-hour battery on the motion sensor, so for your sake, I hope that you and your men are disciplined.

Toby Curtis

Now remember: Your nose does not itch.

Walter O'Brien

Toby!

Toby Curtis

Coming.

Cabe Gallo

We have to prevent these guys from transmitting any communications from this ranch....We can't let 'em know we muzzled 'em.

Walter O'Brien

They won't. They'll think their messages are being received because Sylvester will respond, posing as their associates.

Sylvester Dodd

Remember back at the garage when I said I was uncomfortable with deception?

Walter O'Brien

Uh huh.

Cabe Gallo

Uh huh.

Happy Quinn

Mm hmm.

Sylvester Dodd

Still uncomfortable.

Happy Quinn

Not sure where we are, but I know it's nowhere near the reptile sanctuary.

Paige Dineen

Now what, hitchhike?

Happy Quinn

I'm not showing leg!

Walter O'Brien

No, there's no time to hitchhike. [pause] Happy, I hear a truck. Quick! Punch me in the nose.

Happy Quinn

Finally.

Walter O'Brien

[groans] Good job.

Happy Quinn

If you had been holding onto the sat phone instead of me, we wouldn't be in this mess right now.

Toby Curtis

I was protecting you, it was instinctive.

Happy Quinn

It was stupid. You were an unbuckled 150-pound projectile.

Toby Curtis

154. I've been working out.

Paige Dineen

You are not Normal. Who besides these guys computes tire tread on wheels they've seen for a split second?

Happy Quinn

And you knew to the inch where the supplies would be for my urinal-cake cannon.

Toby Curtis

Your what now?

Sylvester Dodd

You corrected me on the number of bullets fired by Hector and Jorge, and no one corrects me when it comes to math. But you were right.

I'm good with numbers.

Sylvester Dodd

When you watch a pinwheel, can you replay it in your mind in slow motion to count the revolutions?

Only when I'm bored.

Walter O'Brien

Yeah, you're a genius. I'm guessing 1-6-4 with a specialty in visual inferential mathematics. You can record and compute what you see.

Paige Dineen

Now, that explains the low EQ.

What the hell is a low EQ?!

Toby Curtis

That.