Toby Curtis quotes from Scorpion

Toby Curtis

You are the one brain I can't crack, 197.

Sylvester Dodd

Screw this up, brains and guts are gonna ignite all over town!

Happy Quinn

Actually, fuel tanks ignite on impact. You won't find a body part.

Toby Curtis

Mmm, blood-soaked spleen could burn at a slower rate.

Paige Dineen

Hey! Please check your language around my 9-year-old.

Walter O'Brien

In situations like this, carelessnes, mistakes--they will haunt you. I know this from experience.

Toby Curtis

Walter, I'm always on point. Have you seen my hat?

Happy Quinn

Tools don't let you down. Only people do.

Toby Curtis

Spending your life scared to connect to anyone isn't any way to live.

Toby Curtis

We're gonna get a little un-PC up in here. Traditional bomber profile means we lose Asians and Latinos. Cut anyone over 60 and under 12.

That's not how this software's meant to operate.

Toby Curtis

Explosives are traditionally a boys' club so let's lose the women. And anyone not wearing a hat or sunglasses. Alright! Now, who's ready for a little hustle and flow?

Cabe Gallo

What's that?

Toby Curtis

Flow dynamics. Study of herd think, actions and reactions. When one gazelle's ears perk up, so do all the others', and they all run from the cheetah with the same urgency. Ah! [points to screen] That guy in the hat and sunglasses. White male, 30s: fits domestic-terrorist MO. See, he's calm 'cause he knows no other bombs are gonna go off.

Exactly what are you looking for?

Toby Curtis

If we explained it to you, your mind would melt into your socks.

Cabe Gallo

It's official government business, just give us some room.

Toby Curtis

Normals, huh? [looks at Paige] No offense.

Paige Dineen

None taken.

Sylvester Dodd

Galactic has the greatest superhero pantheon in this or any other universe, including my personal favorite, Super Fun Guy. [aside] I'm getting there, Walter, I'm getting there. [to team] They manufacture these little masterpieces using state-of-the-art, cutting-edge 3D printers and scanners. They have everything one would need to create the perfect forgery. The forger must work there. And he is so...lucky!

Sylvester Dodd

OK guys! Come on, let's go!

Toby Curtis

Never seen him move so fast.

Sylvester Dodd

OK Cabe, I'm gonna go with you.

Cabe Gallo

You're all staying here and that's an order. I'll be back in 10 minutes.

Paige Dineen

He's been waiting for this his whole life.

Cabe Gallo

Well, then he should be used to it. I don't need a bunch of geniuses to help me detain an unarmed artist.

Sylvester Dodd

Well, can you at least get me a Super Fun Guy T-shirt? He's really fun. Cabe, he's really fun!

Paige Dineen

Oh no. [runs downstairs to stop recording]

Toby Curtis

What the hell was that all about?

Paige Dineen

Nothing. An acquaintance.

Toby Curtis

You don't sprint downstairs for an acquaintance.

Happy Quinn

Who's Drew?

Paige Dineen

Old friend.

Toby Curtis

Bump from acquaintance to old friend in 3 seconds. Interesting.

Paige Dineen

Look, it's really not important.

Toby Curtis

You just put your hand on your stomach. It's a conscious protection marker where you once carried a child.

Walter O'Brien

Is Drew Ralph's father?

Sylvester Dodd

I didn't know Ralph had a father.

Happy Quinn

How exactly do you think babies are made?

Sylvester Dodd

You know what I mean.

Paige Dineen

Not that it's any of your business, but Ralph's dad is a minor-league baseball player and--

Toby Curtis

Great, a jock!

Paige Dineen

--we bounced around a lot, team to team, and we agreed Ralph should have some stability. We settled in L.A. and Drew was gonna come out after a season. He got a job pitching in Mexico, then Tampa, and you can fill in the rest.

Walter O'Brien

How long has it been since he's seen Ralph?

Paige Dineen

Seven years.

Toby Curtis

Oh that's great. Father of the year. Excuse me, seven years.

Toby Curtis

Hey, you want to know if he's a good guy? Watch him eat fruit. He digs into the flesh with his fingernails, it's a primordial sign of aggression. But if he peels it in one long curl, that is a planner.

Sylvester Dodd

He's right. I'm very gentle with plums.

Walter O'Brien

Guys, we are not giving him fruit.

Paige Dineen

Thank you.

Walter O'Brien

I can just hack his credit info, see what he's been up to, is he any risk to Ralph--

Paige Dineen

Absolutely not!

Sylvester Dodd

Ahem. Would your guest like some fruit?

Drew Baker

Excuse me?

Paige Dineen

He's fine! We don't want fruit!

Toby Curtis

Come on, Babe Ruth, take a peach.

Drew Baker

No, thank you.

Happy Quinn

Agent Gallo, Homeland Security.

What kind of name is Cabe?

Happy Quinn

It's 'Cah-beh.' My mother's Korean.

Oh, sorry. I didn't mean anything by it.

Happy Quinn

No one ever does.

Toby Curtis

[on comms] This is perfect. Now he's feeling guilty and self-conscious. Drop a little civics lesson.

Happy Quinn

I'm here to do the DHS inspection.

Inspectors were already here.

Happy Quinn

Local PD was, not us. A congressman died. Homeland's involved.

Toby Curtis

This is perfect, now he's feeling stupid. You've got him right where you want him, now make him insecure.

Happy Quinn

I have work to do, so should I call your supervisor or mine?

Toby Curtis

And shoulders will be slouching in 3... 2... 1.

Toby Curtis

This is like fish in a barrel.

Happy Quinn

Good talk.

Megan O'Brien

I thought you guys were geniuses. Someone say something smart.

Paige Dineen

Hi, Megan, I'm Paige. They were just playing a spirited game of--

Toby Curtis

Move Sylvester's Stuff Around.

Paige Dineen

Yeah, so they're a little out of it. [pause] Guys, this is when you introdu--

Sylvester Dodd

Yes, OK. Hello, Megan. Nice to meet you. Walter's told me so much about you.

Megan O'Brien

No, he hasn't.

Sylvester Dodd

No, he hasn't.

Toby Curtis

Hey. Dr. Tobias M. Curtis. It's a pleasure.

Happy Quinn

Hey. I'm Happy.

Megan O'Brien

And I'm dying, but you don't see me telling everyone.

Toby Curtis

Yes! Inappropriate self-deprecating humor to put others at ease. I like your approach.

Megan O'Brien

I like your hat.

Happy Quinn

Why do you do that? As soon as you become human, you switch to wise ass.

Toby Curtis

Textbook defense mechanism to hide how I feel. Especially around you. You're so smart, and capable, and fun. And that personality happens to be wrapped in a nice little package. So I say stupid things to hide feelings that you already know that I have. And we got no food, water, or any idea where we are, so if we're gonna die, I might as well say some stuff. So there.

Happy Quinn

You done?

Toby Curtis

Do you see that? You are doing exactly what you said I do. When things get real, I make wise cracks; you put on your armor.

Paige Dineen

Sylvester?

Sylvester Dodd

Yep?

Paige Dineen

Any reason you won't make eye contact with me?

Sylvester Dodd

Yes. I'm uncomfortable because we eavesdropped.

Toby Curtis

Way to stay strong, Sly.

Happy Quinn

It was Toby's idea.

Toby Curtis

You guys fold like a card table.

Gallo. You look the same as you did seven years ago. Not a compliment.

Cabe Gallo

Nothing worse than getting an insult from a lady. Thank God it's coming from you.

Toby Curtis

That's nice. Witty banter. It's my favorite kind of banter.