Toby Curtis quotes from Scorpion

Toby Curtis

Is there a reason you had a fake-blood bag and a retractable knife just lying around?

Happy Quinn

I had to teach an old boyfriend a lesson.

Happy Quinn

Touch it and you will have a blue Christmas.

Toby Curtis

I helped, too!

Happy Quinn

Walter designed it. Sylvester calculated it. I built it. What was your job?

Toby Curtis

Moral support.

Sylvester Dodd

Toby, a few weeks ago I was in a hospital getting shrapnel taken out of my chest, and I still did more work for this project than you did.

Toby Curtis

Grinch.

Happy Quinn

Faster, Grandpa!

Toby Curtis

I'm right on his bumper!

Happy Quinn

I should have driven.

Toby Curtis

Hey, I have seen you drive. We can't save Owen if we're both dead.

Toby Curtis

Happy, I gotta cross a line here. Do you have a tampon?

Happy Quinn

Excuse me?!

Toby Curtis

It'll absorb the blood, expand, increase the pressure, and stop the bleeding.

Happy Quinn

Toolbox, bottom compartment.

Toby Curtis

You look frazzled.

Paige Dineen

Thank you.

Toby Curtis

Grumpy, too.

Paige Dineen

Sorry, I didn't sleep. I had a weird dream.

Walter O'Brien

About what?

Paige Dineen

[hiding the fact that the dream was about Walter] I don't remember the details.

Walter O'Brien

Not surprising. Our brains often protect us from disturbing dreams by suppressing our memories of them.

Paige Dineen

What does it mean when you remember a dream vividly?

Walter O'Brien

Means that we enjoyed it.

Toby Curtis

Anyone here recently lost a lot of weight, trying to look good for someone?

Tim, Leonard, and Susan have all dropped some weight.

Paige Dineen

Any vacation days? Especially Fridays and Mondays?

Walter O'Brien

What would that indicate?

Paige Dineen

Romantic three-day weekends. Ever had one?

Walter O'Brien

Kind of. She left after one day.

Happy Quinn

Who's gonna be Marvin?

Cabe Gallo

Well, Interpol's still doing a background on Sima, but there's no question she's probably dangerous. So I'll do it.

Walter O'Brien

No, you're Homeland, you're former FBI. She could have intel on our agents. We can't risk her ID'ing you.

Toby Curtis

Sylvester can't do it, he's a nervous wreck, he'd barf all over her.

Sylvester Dodd

I would.

Toby Curtis

I guess I'll have to do it. I just hope she doesn't fall in love with me, too.

Cabe Gallo

No. Intel indicates that she probably works alone, but we can't be too careful. We need someone to profile the crowd in that bar and make sure she has no collaborators.

Paige Dineen

So we're down to Walter? Am I the only person who just heard that phone call?

Walter O'Brien

Oh, I learned a lot from that exchange!

Paige Dineen

After hearing your performance on the phone, you're gonna need help. I'll be your Cyrano.

Walter O'Brien

The story of the guy with rhinophyma, the large nose disease.

Paige Dineen

You missed the whole love story?!

Walter O'Brien

I was focused on his medical condition.

Toby Curtis

Andrew.

Drew Baker

Just Drew, actually.

Toby Curtis

Right. And Drew's short for what, Michael?

Cabe Gallo

Hey! How come a bunch of geniuses can't answer a phone?!

Sylvester Dodd

I don't carry my phone on me. Radiation.

Happy Quinn

I was welding.

Paige Dineen

Mine's in my bag.

Walter O'Brien

Couldn't hear it over the rocket.

Cabe Gallo

Of course. And what about you, Doc?

Toby Curtis

I keep mine off; I owe a bookie.

Toby Curtis

Well, this is highly illegal.

Walter O'Brien

I'm simply expediting things through technological intervention.

Toby Curtis

You're hacking into a site that charges for reservations to save the twenty bucks.

Walter O'Brien

Nope. They were fully booked.

Toby Curtis

Where you been?

Happy Quinn

I...got kidnapped

Toby Curtis

What?

Walter O'Brien

Kidnapped by who?

Happy Quinn

This guy. [pulls Paco inside the room] He wasn't good at it.

Toby Curtis

It astounds me that I have to remind you all that I had a medical degree from Harvard before most people had their drivers licenses.

Walter O'Brien

Oh, really? You went to Harvard? You hardly ever mention it.

Walter O'Brien

You recognize that gun? The motion sensor is calibrated to not shoot anything before the door. But it will take out anything that moves on the other side of it.

Toby Curtis

Unfortunately, that's the side you're on.

Happy Quinn

I improved your gun. You so much as move a trigger finger, you're dead.

Walter O'Brien

Now, I put a 24-hour battery on the motion sensor, so for your sake, I hope that you and your men are disciplined.

Toby Curtis

Now remember: Your nose does not itch.

Walter O'Brien

Toby!

Toby Curtis

Coming.

Sylvester Dodd

I'm pretty sure I just committed at least three felonies. I've seen Shawshank; I know what they do to guys like me in the big house.

Toby Curtis

D-Block Prom Queen.

Toby Curtis

I've been collecting data on your shifting behavior patterns the past few months, and the result is an ironclad theorem that proves you have feelings for Paige.

Walter O'Brien

[laughs] That's preposterous.

Toby Curtis

Said the climate-change denier in the face of scientific evidence. While you're at it, how about you get no vaccines today? You wanna take this for a spin? Remember the reservation you made for a Valentine's Day "work dinner"?

Walter O'Brien

We never ended up having a meal.

Toby Curtis

OK, how about the new lavender diffuser in your office?

Walter O'Brien

That is to mask the smell of experiment-generated mouse urine.

Toby Curtis

That's disgusting. But also a lie. Pagie loves lavender; that handcream of hers is always stinkin' up the van. Finally: Coffee arabica....You put cinnamon in our pot here.

Walter O'Brien

It has anti-oxidants and improves brain function.

Toby Curtis

Cinnamon's for elves.

Walter O'Brien

And how old are you?

Toby Curtis

Thirteen months older than you, so show your elders respect.