Alright, Velma, start singing.
Uh. [sings; Friar Serra and His Donkey, Porto while playing the Acoustic Guitar. Daphne gasps]
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
FFred
Now, let's see who this ghostly monk really is. (unmasks Serra's face)
EEveryone
George Avocados? (The crowd is surprised)
That's Avoc--ah. Oh, forget it. That's right. It is me.
FFred
Yes! Finally! I knew you'd be the villain eventually.
All right, you got me. And I suppose you're wondering, after so many prior misdirects, why now.
Actually, no. Not really. We kind of always knew you were evil.
Hmmph! Okay, fine. Then my tale should not surprise. It all began after I failed in politics. I had no choice but to go into the family business: Farming avocados. Everything was going so well until you mystery brats blew up my crops. I then tried my hand at fortune telling. But when that endeavor failed... I fell back on the Avocados legacy of stealing other people's things. I located the Avocados diamond, stolen by my father. Turns out, it actually was disguised as a door knob, not on a door in Crystal Cove, but on a door at the Burlington Library. When I found out it was among the artifacts sent here for the production. I took a job as a janitor. I needed everyone to stay clear of the basement to give me time to look. I hid the body of Friar Serra in a closet and assumed his identity. Knowing this town's gullibility, I knew a ghost story would give me room to hunt. And I would have succeeded, TOO, if it weren't for Vincent van Ghoul.
VVVincent van Ghoul
Moi?
So the brown residue that was left behind...
That's right. Guacamole! Now, I want my diamond! (tries to grab the diamond staff but Daphne grabbed it)
Let me see something. This crystal is the diamond!
But, like, hold on. If you were the friar, how did you appear at the rehearsals?
I didn't. I assumed that was you meddling kids trying to trick me into revealing myself.
EEveryone
Huh?
FSFriar Serra
You are still in danger. The story of Crystal Cove is a lie. The donkey never tried to help save the town, but to destroy it. There were 4 of us and Porto in the Fraternum House Mysterium, a group of mystery-solving friars. We encountered a conquistador. He told us a tale of great evil before his madness got the best of him, and he vanished in the night, he left behind two oddly-marked disk pieces. We quickly became obsessed with the pieces. We realized that there was an evil at work. We attempted to destroy the pieces to rid us and the town of evil, but the evil would not allow us. The evil manipulated Porto. Porto set out to destroy the town. We chased Porto to the alligator-infested swamps, outside of town. Porto was dragged away by the alligators, but not before I was able to retrieve the one piece he took. The other piece, thankfully was lost at the bottom of the ocean when Crystal Cove sank into the sea. It was up to me, now, to hide the last piece. Beware, Nibiru is coming. This has all happened before, it begins with the animal. Always the animal. Heed the warning of the alligators! The dog dies! (Friar Serra's corpse crumbles to dust)
(gulps) "The dog dies"? Is he talking about me?!
EEB.
Don't get too close. They still might have some alien brain-stealing items ready to deploy.
That might be true if they were really aliens, but they are, in fact, (unmasks the Grey, Nordic Alien and Reptoid) Traveler O'Flaherty, Sheela O'Flaherty and Connor O'Flaherty.
FFred
Ah, usually, we all recognize the villain and shout out his name in unison.
Yeah, Velm. Mind cluing us in?
I know all the criminals in Crystal Cove, and these jerks aren't ringing a bell.
Like, you had a wanted poster for them on your wall.
Oh, please. Nobody ever pays attention to those. What is this, the old west?
TOTraveler O'Flaherty
Were that it were, boyo. Then perhaps we could've earned an honest living. When I was a wee lad, we couldn't even afford peat for our fire. So I had to lift it. It turned out I was a right good thief, but then I discovered there were things I could steal other than coal, and wouldn't you know it, my kids had an aptitude for the family business as well. We started getting a reputation for our business, and there were our faces splashed all over the universe. Aye. 'Twas then we got the idea for the costumes because who'd ever say they saw an outer space creature stealing a flat-screen television set? I found out about the Blakes purchasing the Pangaea. Seemed like it was right up our alley, and we'd have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you frittering snappers. (after a short silence) Meddling kids!
But I know what I saw: the aliens, the cornfield, my nose chip!
Actually, Sheriff, during your hypnotic regression, Shaggy and Scooby smelled something on your breath.
SSShaggy and Scooby
Bad clams.
The clams induced a hallucination that made everything seem real.
What about the lights on the road?
A weather balloon that got loose from the army.
FFred
And the Mystery Machine fritzing out?
Too many people turning on their air conditioners at the same time created an electromagnetic pulse that shut the Mystery Machine's engine down.
The crop circle?
A farmer writing "I love you", to his wife for their anniversary.
Aw, we must've been standing in the "O" of "love".
FFred
Or the "O" of "you".
It was the "O" of "love", Fred.
So I wasn't repeatedly abducted and experimented on by aliens?
FFred
Doesn't seem so, Sheriff.
Then I'm no longer a victim. And you, O'Flaherty family, are under arrest for THIEVERY AND IMPERSONATION OF INVADERS FROM OUTER SPACE, AND you're going away for a long, long time.
So, like, I don't understand. The Planispheric Disk led us to dig up this crazy old flintlock. Does that mean this is the treasure?
No. It might be worth a little something as an antique, but the cursed treasure of Crystal Cove is supposed to be immense beyond all imagining.
Like love.
Excuse me, Mr. farmer. What happened to your farm?
FFarmer
Farm? I ain't got no farm. It's gone, all of it. That horrible herd ate everything except the silo. (to Martha) Martha, we are leaving.
Like, did I just heard you say hear? I mean, uh, ha ha ha, hear you say herd.
FFred
Herd of what?
FFarmer
Skull cattle. Ugliest darn things.
Guys, look at these weird hoof prints. They don't make any sense.
FFarmer
If you really want to get all nosy about it, you should talk to the other farmers in the area. The herd paid them a visit, too.
FFred
So you're saying that this herd of skull cattle also destroyed your farms?
SFSullen female farmer
What's the matter with you? You got potatoes in your ears, huh?
FFred
Huh? Nope, not today. I once had luminescent swamp moss stuffed in my ears when I was trapping toads as a baby. But it came out. Eventually.
Ay. Please, go on.
SFSullen female farmer
Like a plague of locusts they was. Coming out of the night, they devoured everything in their path.
MFMale farmer
I reckon she's right.
I mapped all the attacks on all the farms in the area, and look, they create an outline of a magnifying glass just like the one the old Mystery Incorporated used as their symbol. It's centered around Destroido.
Cute little moo cows turned into horrible monsters. There's only one mind evil enough to come up with something like that.
SSScooby, Shaggy, Velma, Daphne and Fred
Professor Pericles.
Velma, is there anyway we can spy on the old Mystery Incorporated? Didn't you say Hot Dog Water hooked us up somehow at Destroido?
I almost forgot. Hot Dog Water left us a back door into the Destroido security system when she was there stealing the Planispheric Disk pieces.
FFred
Can you get more volume?
(Velma gets the high volume of the laptop)
You have gone too far this time, Pericles. Too far! (The next scene depicts the conversation of Ricky (Mr. E) and Professor Pericles) This macabre herd of skull cattle you've created is costing millions of Destroido's money. My money. And I currently have 28 of my best scientists listed as presumed missing.
SScientist
(heard in the other room) No, NO! AAAAAHH!
Make that 29.
Ricky, one cannot make a genius omelet without breaking a few worthless eggs. Right, Brad and Judy?
You said it, Professor Pericles.
He's a genius, right, Brad?
He sure is, Judy. He sure is.
And make no mistake, Ricky, I will break any egg that gets in my way: Ed Machine, Cassidy Williams, or perhaps even you. My herd of skull cattle is perfect in every way. I have crossbred cows, piranhas, and bees to create ultimate monsters. And I'm their master. My precious creations exist for one purpose: to devour Crystal Cove. My herd of male drones shall level this city to the ground, leaving nowhere for the Mystery kinder to hide the Planispheric Disk.
(The next scene depicts that the gang listened Pericles's evil plan)
Like, he's gonna destroy Crystal Cove!
FFred
Come on, gang. We have to warn the town.
Gang, this is all our fault.
Isn't it always?
Maybe we should just give Pericles the Planispheric Disk.
Like, no way. A treasure beyond all imagining in the clutches of an evil psychotic parrot?
Would be devastating on a global scale. Shaggy's right. There has to be another way.
Well, you Mystery dorks better decide quick because those nasty cow thingies sealed off the town completely.
Soon Crystal Cove will cease to exist and the Planispheric Disk shall be mine. THEN no one will ever stand in my way AGAIN. (laughs)
All the roads leading in and out of the city have been eaten. They're cutting us off.
Perhaps as-- as-- a species our time is over. It's evolution, people. We should all submit to the herd. I think I'll see if they're hiring any Sheriffs.
Bronson, although I find your immediate surrender oddly endearing, you're not going anywhere. Kids, there must be a way to stop these things.
I think I have it. It's all the little pieces, all the clues. Especially the fact that Professor Pericles referred to all the skull cattle as male drones. And then there's the sweet cheese.
I think I see where you're going with this, Daph. If Scooby and I can eat all that honey sweet cheese, those things will starve and we'll save the town.
Count me in. I'm ready to eat my way to victory.
That's not what I was thinking. They're like bees. The herd is all male drones. So there must be a queen in the cow hive at Destroido.
Daphne, that's so genius I should have thought of it. They'll be totally protective of their queen. If we could capture the queen cow...
FFred
We could use her to lead the herd away from the town.
Saving Crystal Cove.
I don't know. I don't know. I think my plan of letting the herd enslave humanity is pretty darn good.
FFred
My fake father mayor dad used to keep a helicopter here at city hall.
I still have it. Quick, it's our only chance.
You did it, kids. You saved the town.
I feel a little sorry for those skull cattle. It's not their fault they're horrible genetically engineered mutations.
FFred
Look. (The horrible herd rise in the ocean) Those things are part fish, remember? They can swim.
(The horrible herd swim away from Crystal Cove)
Whoa. What have we done?
You mean, like, other than release unnatural super predators into the ecosystem?
It's best to just walk away from this one, kids. Just... walk... away.
(Everyone walk away from the horrible herd in the ocean)
(Scooby and Shaggy are searching Nova)
Nova. Nova! Nova!
(finds Nova lying on the ground) Scooby-Doo, over there!
(Scooby grabs Nova alive and injured)
She's alive. Come on, we have to get her to the hospital.
My plan, ruined by those meddling kinder. They will pay. All of them. They will pay.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.