Okay, where are we going?
[pause] Well [Stavros is] just coming for me, but then I figured that we would just come back and grab you guys at some point.
What kind of sociopath abandons her family in some vomit soaked dump, to gallivant around the world with her dumb shipping heir loser boyfriend she's known for three months?!
Um, David, it will be four months next month.
And... he just told me that he could potentially see himself considering saying "I love you" at some point sometime soon, so...
That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I'm telling mom. I'm telling mom and dad, have you told them?
No! No David, I'm waiting for the right opportunity, okay? Otherwise dad's gonna cry, and mom's gonna do that thing where she pretends that nothing's wrong and then just doesn't talk to me for five months, and I don't want that.
RRoland
So Johnny Rose wants the ol' Johnny Hancock, huh? Well shouldn't be a problem, Johnny. I'm happy to sign off on the listing.
Well, thank you, very much, Roland, appreciate it.
RRoland
Sure. Why don't you come over tonight and pick it up?
Uh, no-- Mr. Mayor, I-- No, Roland, a signature. That's all I need.
RRoland
Johnny look, here is what you're gonna do: you're gonna grab the kids, you're gonna grab Moira, you're gonna come over we're gonna sit down like civilized people, have a few laughs, and then at the end of the evening we'll get to the big signing, okay?
Right. Okay-- honestly Roland, it's just a-- it's just a signature. A flick of the wrist. That's it.
RRoland
You're not rejecting my hospitality, are you, Johnny? Because that really wouldn't be a good way to start things off, I don't think.
No! No. I'd love to come to dinner are you kidding me? No. I just thought, let's do business first, get the signature, and then dinner.
RRoland
Johnny, you want that. To get that you need this. So let's just do this my way.
Yeah, yeah, sure. Yeah. Dinner it is.
RRoland
Dinner it is. Attaboy!
RRoland
Oh, there it is! There it is! The Vivien Blake bitch face!
RRoland
I didn't want to say anything, but you were my favourite character on "Sunrise Bay".
It's true. He lived for "Sunrise Bay". I could be doing cartwheels in a thong in front of that television, which I have done, but if your show was on I was as good as wall paper.
RRoland
Hey, how many people did you slap on that show?
I don't get it, [the paperwork is] all done.
No, there's still a little bit that needs to be filled in.
All that's missing is my middle name.
[scoffs] Why must you be so constantly irksome?
(pregnant pause)
Do you not know my middle name?
[incredulous] Of course I do! I blessed you with it!
Okay, so um... then what name should I put down then?
Alexis. Do as your mother says, please.
Do you know my middle name?
(pregnant pause)
Alexis... Something Rose.
Um, why don't you guys stay at the cabin for longer?
Oh, I would never just abandon you two in a motel in the middle of nowhere.
Didn't you once take the wrong baby home from preschool?
Alexis looked Chinese as an infant! How many times must I defend myself?!
How did you open the door?
I threw a shoe. This wine is aw-ful! Get me another glass.
Well, I think maybe we've had enough wine, sweetheart.
I can't feel my tongue. But I know it's there, because I'm talking.
Moira, you should hear what they're saying about you out there. You are doing great!
No. No, John, I ruined it. I ruined everything.
No, sweetheart, I ruined everything. I ruined it.
You did? Why did you ruin everything?
Okay. Well, let's not focus on me right now.
Bob... in case I wanna mention this in my remarks, how did Carl go?
BBob
Well, it was a bit of a freak accident, really. Apparently, he was trying to unhook his belt from the ceiling fan and... apparently it got knotted around his neck.
BBob
Yeah, you know, you'd think the whole thing would've come down, you know? Try keeping a fan and a body spinning up there for two days. But uh... Carl found the studs on that one.
[horrified] Oh... yeah...
BBob
That's craftsmanship.
Don't worry, he's fine. It's not the first time David's run away. Remember all those troubled years in high school when he'd charter the jet without permission?
Yes, but he has no money.
Oh, he does now. If there's one thing David knows it's the street value of a woman's bag.
Okay, you know what, can we stop talking about that bag for five minutes? The bag, the bag, and the bag!
John, it's an heirloom, my great grandmother took it from her husband when she left him, and it has been passed down through all the women in my family, as emergency currency in case we need to leave our husbands in the middle of the night.
You don't have to worry darling, I'll never need it. But you know Alexis will!
Yeah, more than once, probably.
Next step is to fold in the cheese.
...What does that mean? What does "fold in the cheese" mean?
I understand that. But how? How do you fold it? Do you fold it in half like a piece of paper and drop it in the pot? Or what do you do?
David, I can not show you everything.
Okay, well can you show me one thing?
You just-- here's what you do: You just fold it in.
Okay, I don't know how to fold broken cheese like that!
Then I don't know how to be any clearer! You take that thing that's in your hand--
If you say "fold in" one more time...
[yelling] It says "fold it in"!
[removing apron] This is your recipe! You fold in the cheese, then!
David! Oh good, now I see bubbles! David! What does burning smell like?!
