Scaramouch quotes from Samurai Jack

[reading a sign] "Aku's Current Top Assassins: 1. Deathblow 2. Da-Bomb! 3. Scaramouch"?! Oh baby, I have come down in the world. Well, how do you like that? One day you're the star of the show, the next you're the third act of a two-act play.

[upon meeting Jack for the first time] Samurai Jack! Man, it is good to see you, babe! What took you so long? I decimated this village days ago. Just for you! Wait, this is you, right? I mean, who could recognize you with all that gear and ruggedness, baby? I'll tell you who. Me! [scats and in sing song voice] Scaramouch the Merciless! [normal voice] The Pied Piper of Ruination, the Crooner of Carnage, the Ambassador of Annihilation, the Eradicator of All, baby! Also known as...Aku's most favorite assassin, babe. [Jack scowls a bit] Oh, there it is, babe. The world famous scowl. Well, come on, Sammy baby, whip it out! You know what I'm talking about. That cra-a-azy sword. Let's get slicin' and dicin', swingin' and bashin', hackin' and slashin', babe! [notices something off] Wait, back off a sec there, beardsly. [points down to Jack's waist] Where...is your sword? Huh? I don't see it. Oh? [chuckles some] No, no, no, no, NO, babe! Don't tell me. You lost...your sword? [Jack flashes back to the moment he lost his sword when he accidentally dropped it in a green abyss]

[snorting laughter] Okay, Jacky baby, you just make with the scowl while I make with the phone and call up Aku. [he gets out his phone and makes beep sounds while dialing for Aku]

Aku

[picks up the phone] Who is this?!

Aku, baby! How's it hangin', boss? Guess what I jus-

Aku

What??? HELLO!

Whoo hoo! Numero Uno, here I come!

That's 50 credits, bud.

Trust me, babe, I'm good for it.

Yeah? [puts him down] Well, the last guy I trusted did this to me! [walks off]

Oh, it's all good, baboo. Aku will give me anything once he hears the news.

Whoa! What a freak. Looked like a talking penis.

[confused approaching an Aku robot standee] What the...?

Hello, you are now hearing the voice of AKU! Unfortunately I will no longer be available for any more appointments. I'm sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused you. Now, GO!

Aku!

Aku

Go away. Didn't you hear the recording? Leave me alone!

Oh, but Aku-kachu! I got some info on Jack-o that's outta this world, babe!

Aku

[bored/annoyed] WHAAAAAAT???

Feast your ears on this! I mean, do you even have ears? Like, can those antler things even hear?

Aku

[extremely bored/annoyed] Get on with it!

Dig this, boss: Jack-o has lost his sword-o.

Aku

[perplexed, then starts to squish Scaramouch] Are you sure!?

[feeling the pressure of Aku's power] Yes, yes! I bet my life on it!

Aku

[lets Scaramouch go] WHAT JOOOOY!

Oh yeah! I'm back, baby! [starts to dance] Oh, yeah! [scats a bit]

Aku

[starts to dance too] Oh, yeah! [does the same kinda scat]

Aku

SAMURAI JACK!

Aku!

Ashi

[in fear] Aku...?

Aku

It has been too long! Far, far too long! But you're probably saying to yourself: "Why? Why now for our sudden reunion?" Well, a little birdie told me...

That Samurai Jack has lost the only thing in the universe that can destroy Aku!

Aku

YOU FOOOOOL!

Oh, but Master, I-

Aku

Well, it has been nice catching up, but I should go. I don't want to interrupt you and your lady friend. Pretend I was never here. I'll let myself out.