Zelda, Sabrina and others in “Pilot”

Here is a present from your father.

An old book, a black pot - Doesn’t anyone shop at The Gap anymore? [reading the cover] "The Discovery of Magic"... Why’d he give me this? [opens the book to a page depicting a picture of a bearded man in a top hat, labeled Edward beneath it] That’s why! This old magician looks just like my dad.

Surprise! [Sabrina gives a little start] It is your dad! Happy birthday, Sabrina!

[amazed] Wow, Hallmark has gone really high tech! Can he say anything else?

I’m not a hologram, honey - I’m just in a different realm.

A different realm? I thought you were at the Toronto Midway Motor Lodge.

[to his sisters] Zelda, Hilda, didn’t you explain to her she’s a witch?

[to the book] She doesn’t believe us!

[exasperated] Not this again... [closes the book] Look, I know you went to a lot of trouble to set this joke up, so... Ha-ha-ha, now it’s over?

No. It’s just beginning. You are a witch.

With real magical powers, and now that you're sixteen, you can use them. [bemused] And you wanted something from The Gap..

So, what are you saying? that I’m not who I think I am? You’re not who I think you are? And my father lives in a book?

Oh, finally, she gets it!

This is insane, I’m going to my room. [gets up and heads for the door] Come on, Salem.

Can you wait till I've finished my milk?

[stops, shocked] Did the cat just talk?

Yes, and get this stupid hat off my head.

[horrified] Oh my God! [runs away]

I think we’d better let her father handle this... Ted?