Royal Rumble · Season 1
Kofi in trouble from the top rope.
He needs a little bit of help right now. Kofi needs a little help.
[Buzzer sounds for entry #12. Jerry's music plays]
Yes, he does, and you know what? What would a Royal Rumble be without a little royalty?!
What the hell?!
[as Jerry removes his headset and sweatshirt] You've gotta be kidding me! What are you doing?!
You didn't tell me you was in it, King!
Where are you going?! This is ridiculous!
[as Jerry delivers big right hands to the Miz and Cody Rhodes] I mean, come on, now! How did Lawler-- Why is he in this matchup? Can you imagine Jerry Lawler main-eventing WrestleMania?
Yeah, I can imagine it! I can imagine him being the Champion, as well.
[Jerry lifts up the Miz] I'm sure you can, and look at Lawler and Miz, who have had a long-standing rivalry. [Jerry bodyslams the Miz]
BIG slam by the King! King dropping on it, baby! Drop the strap, that's what I want to see. [Jerry climbs to the middle turnbuckle]
Lawler has no business being in this match.
I want to see King drop the strap! I want to see him drop-- [Jerry removes his shoulder strap] Ohhh, here we go!
Come on!
[Jerry jumps and drops a fist on the Miz] Vintage King right there, baby!
Oh, now you're stealing my lines!
No announcer should enter the Royal Rumble match.
As we get ready for #17.
Who's it gonna be?
[Buzzer sounds. Booker T.'s music plays]
WHAT?!
NOW YOU?!?!?! YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!! NOW YOU?!
Go get em, Booker! Go get em, sucka!
Kofi still alive. Hands on the floor. Remember, both feet have to hit the floor. [Miz pushes Kofi's legs away] Oh, my God. Dangerous situation.
[Kofi, now out of the ring, walks on his hands to the steps]
Oh, look at this!
Oh, my God.
LOOK AT THIS!
[as Kofi lands his feet on the steps, crawls backwards onto them, and reenters the ring] ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
He saved himself!
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
Kofi Kingston, what a move!
That's gotta be the greatest thing I've ever seen!
[laughs] Even you admit it, huh?!
Who's gonna enter at #20? I think I know. I got a hunch. I got a hunch. [Buzzer sounds, Nickelback's "Burn It to the Ground" plays, and Michael Cole is revealed as #20. He immediately undresses, revealing his orange singlet] YES! YES! YES!
Oh, tell me this is not so. Tell me that Michael Cole is not entering...
What the hell you doing? You're not in the Rumble!
Keep your pants on, nobody wants to see... just get in there!
Look at Cole avoiding any contact with anybody.
Look at his stomach. I mean, he looks like he's been eating donuts all month.
That's the way he works out. [Buzzer sounds for #21] Somebody get in there and get him.
Don't that just break your... [A cackle is heard and Michael Cole is instantly afraid] ohhhh....
WHAT?! Wait a minute there, am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?
[as #21, Kharma, walks to the ring] Aww, wait a minute!
[laughing] Kharma!
King, check this out. This is only the third time something like this has ever happened. Kharma is about to break somebody off a little something proper-like, dawg!
Oh, I hope she goes right after Cole!
I hope she just eat him like a piece of chicken!
Michael Cole is already crying, I see tears running down... [Kharma clotheslines Michael] Oh, yes! She knocked his headgear right off!
She's looking at that boy like a chicken bone! She's fixing to eat!
[Michael climbs over the ropes]
Oh, look at Cole.
King, come on.
[As Michael begs Kharma to go easy on him, Jerry and Booker leave the table and take his legs out from under Michael, eliminating him]
...
Cole, you okay?
You guys just cost me my spot at WrestleMania! I was gonna win the thing!
Trying to help you out, dog.
I didn't wanna touch a woman, that was why I climbed over the top rope!
[As Chris Jericho tries the Codebreaker on Sheamus, he gets caught and dumped over the top rope, but hangs on, avoiding the floor]
No, they didn't hit. The referee's right there; his feet did not hit the floor. This match continues.
[as Jericho gets back onto the ring] Once again, Jericho teeters and holds on for dear life.
[Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick on Jericho]
Oh, Brogue Kick!
[Jericho falls to the floor, winning the Rumble for Sheamus]
Oh my goodness!
Sheamus is going to WrestleMania!
Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the 2012 Royal Rumble: Sheamus!
Ladies and gentlemen, the Great White is gonna be on the prowl on South Beach! Sheamus is going to WrestleMania!
They said we were dysfunctional, but we're still the Tag Team Champions!
Still the Tag Team Champions!
Excuse me. Excuse me! Daniel, Kane, as managing supervisor of Raw, I am happy to give you your entry numbers into the Royal Rumble match. [Hands over two sealed envelopes] Good luck.
[She chuckles and leaves as Daniel and Kane open their envelopes. Kane looks at his and shrugs while Daniel points at his.]
Interesting.
Well?
Well, what?
Aren't...aren't you gonna show me?
Show you what?
Show me your number.
Oh. Let me think about it for a second. No!
"No"? What do you mean, "no"?! It's the rules!
Trust me. You would feel very inadequate.
Wh...what does that mean? Just show it to me!
Daniel, it's bad strategy to reveal your number before a Royal Rumble match to anyone! See you out there, partner.
Not if I see you first!
[holding up envelope] Yeah, that's highly unlikely.
I stand before you all alone in the spotlight, exactly where I belong. And tonight, when this Royal Rumble match comes to a close, it's gonna be exactly the same—me standing in the middle of this ring all by myself as the winner of the Royal Rumble match!
Only twice in history has someone won from the #1 spot. Only twice in history...
And I don't even care who #2 is, so just send him out already.
Well, only twice in history has someone won from the #2 position. The question is, who will be the man to start the Rumble match against Dolph Ziggler?
BREAK THE WALLS DOWN!
Oh, my!
[chanting] YOU'VE STILL GOT IT!
I never lost it, baby!
[on entry #9] It is the Harvard Law School graduate, David Otunga.
All right! Jennifer Hudson's husband!
Otunga entering his third Royal Rumble match. All three of us here at ringside have been part of the Royal Rumble match. John, you've actually been in five in your career; one year, you lasted nearly 36 minutes, as Otunga goes right after Goldust.
You'd been in one, hadn't you, Michael?
Yeah, last year, I lasted...
How long did you last?
Almost two minutes.
Did anybody last less than you?
Yes.
Who?
Jerry "The King" Lawler.
How long did he last?
Less than a minute.
You lasted longer than Jerry Lawler?
Yes.
Wow. Did you beat him at WrestleMania too?
Yes.
Hey, listen. I've stopped listening, you can stop talking.
Kofi just landed on Tensai's back! Kofi's still alive!
Wait a minute, Kofi's not disqualified!
No, Kofi's still alive. [Tensai puts Kofi Kingston on the Spanish announce table] Kofi didn't hit the floor. Tensai...they gotta get Tensai out of here.
Jerry Now what's Kofi gonna do?
Oh, he's in a predicated now because Kofi's not been eliminated. But how the hell can Kofi Kingston get back to the ring? It's impossible.
He's like a bird when the world's on fire! Where do you land?! [Kingston is now standing on the table, considering jumping to the ring] What's he gonna do now?
What did they use to do in Star Trek, teleport themselves? That's what Kofi'd better try to do here.
Jump! Jump, Carl Lewis, jump for it!
I don't think there's anybody that's gonna beam...
He's gonna try! Jump for it!
...beam him all the way into the ring.
[A few moments later...]
[to JBL] The chair!
For what?
Come on, just give me your chair!
Chair for what?
Come on, just give him your chair. He wants it.
[getting up] I gotta see this. I've gotta see this. [JBL hands his chair to Kingston] I gotta see this! I gotta see this! This is gonna be good! I don't know what he's gonna do!
[A few more moments later...]
Meanwhile, high drama, high drama building ringside.
[as Kingston stands on the chair] This is unbelievable!
Kofi's not been eliminated. Kingston is still alive.
[Kofi starts jumping with the chair towards the ring]
I love it!
Look at the referees staring Kofi down.
This is awesome! This is incredible!
He's using the chair like a pogo stick!
I get an assist!
Kofi Kingston, give the assist to Bradshaw...
[Kingston gets onto the ring apron and the referees give the safe signal]
That's the craziest thing I've ever seen!
I can't believe it!
Kofi's safe.
Kofi's still in the Rumble! Now give me my chair back!
[on entry #17: The Godfather, accompanied by two lovely ladies] From Vegas! He brought his Rat Pack!
[Ryback carries John Cena, who escapes and pushes Ryback...]
Oh, whoa-whoa-whoa...
[...over the top rope to the floor, winning the Rumble]
Ryback eliminated!
HE'S GONE! HE'S GONE!
John Cena is going to WrestleMania!
The winner of the Royal Rumble: John Cena!
John Cena has done it!
The 10-time WWE Champion is going back to the dance, to the main stage, to the grandest of them all, WrestleMania!
John Cena has made history tonight. John Cena becomes only the fourth man to win two Royal Rumble matches.
[John points to the WrestleMania logo and the fireworks go off]
There was Austin, there was Shawn Michaels, there was Hogan, and now there's Cena!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Royal Rumble pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.