Are you feeliing ignored? Are you feeling unappreciated?
You're gonna be feeling single in about two seconds.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
What's going on?
Got me.
Mom, what's going on?
We're playing a game.
Can I play?
No, you're too mature to play this game.
Can I have my allowance?
It's an honor to have you on the payroll.
(to Roseanne after hearing she is grounded for another week) You're being totally unfair just because I don't want to eat your stinkin' beans!
Wrong, I'm being totally unfair because that is my job!
Dan (about Becky): She's just trying to get a rise out of you.
She's been trying to get a rise out of me for the last month.
What're you talking about?
Where've you been, Dan? She comes home from school, yells at me and locks herself in her room. The only time she comes out is to either yak on the phone or give me grief.
Great Caesar's Ghost, she's acting like a 14-year-old.
Anyway, what do you know about this? You're not even a mom!
When are you gonna quit throwing that up to me?!
When your water breaks!
[to Brian, after learning that she is fired] I need that job, and I hate like hell that I do, but I need it. And I'm not working there because I need an allowance. I'm paying for a mortgage and putting food on the table and buying clothes for three kids. I don't think you'd even understand that. I don't think you understand anything. You're not grown up enough yet to understand that your life doesn't always turn out the way you plan it to be, and sometimes you end up doing stuff you thought you'd never do in a million years, but you still have to do it 'cause there's nothing else you can do.
I've definitely sunk to an all-time new low: I've been fired by Opie.
Brian (to Roseanne): You are paid to follow my orders. It isn't always pretty, but this is the business we've chosen.
You've got a big booger hanging out of your nose!
I've got two more pancakes here!
I want French toast!
Well, you better move to Europe.
BBrian
Now this is supposed to be fast food, people. And we can't exactly call it fast.
Why not? We call it food.
I guess you can catch more flies with manure, than with honey.
You have a big mouth.
No I don’t... BECKY!!!!
For God's sake, Becky, you're 14 years old!
Mom, everything I do... everything I feel, it's always "Well, she's 14." I mean, when you guys do something, people don't go, "Well, she's 37."
[pauses] ...36 and a half.
How come the liquor cabinet is open?
[drunk] I dunno. Maybe the wine had to breathe!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Roseanne pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.