Church, Tucker and others in “Brass Tacks (Episode 86)”

And this is Tucker.

Sup.

Hey.

Tucker's job is to do... what... I guess nothing.

I'm just chillin'. That's the only rule on blue team, rookie. Be cool.

I thought the only rule was don't kill the leader?

Yeah, but we break that rule all the time. That's what makes us so cool.

Awesome. On the red team, they break that rule-

Blarg.

Oh cool! You have a dog?

Uh, that's not a dog. That's my kid.

Oh, cool! You have a kid that looks like a dog?

Nice save. Hey, you know what? I think I have the perfect tour guide for you. Hey Caboose! Come here!

I thought about having a kid once.

Oh, really? It's a lot of work.

Yeah, it seems like it would be hard. But I thought, you know, who wants to be known as the girl who's had seven abortions?

Heh, yeah... Wait, what?

Alright, this is Caboose. He can tell you everything you possibly need to know about blue base.

[whispering] Is she a mean girl, or a regular girl?

Caboose, what did I tell you?

That there are no regular girls.

Exactly. Alright just stick with him, ask him any questions you have, and don't bother me or tucker.

What do I tell her?

Well, I already know the rule.

I hate that stupid rule!

Go show her Doc and Sheila.

The purple one is Doc, and the big one is Sheila.

You know, I was really wishing that would take longer. And further away.

Who's the black one?

The black one?

Yeah, the one in the black armor! The one standing right behind you guys.

The black one! Yeah. [pause] Wait, what?