It goes to show you can't judge a book by its cover. Or a horny toad, neither.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
I was at the breakfast table, putting on my boots and picking through a box of Crusher Krispies, and that's when it happened.
What happened?
TJT.J.
The toy surprise was missing from your box.
Worse than that. My mom tells me that after school today, she's taking me to that new museum!
The Glamour Puss Museum of makeup, wigs, and pantyhose?!
Bingo. [the others gasp in shock] I think it's another of my mom's plans to make me girlie and junk.
TJT.J.
My heart goes out to you, Spinelli.
I was thinking it'd be a lot less boring looking around at all that lipstick and fru fru girlie junk if someone was there to kind of hang out with me.
Whoa... Oh, no, I'm not going in that place.
TJT.J.
Yeah, I'm kind of busy.
I've got my reputation to worry about.
Thanks, guys, but I was hoping Gretchen could come.
Well, though I seldom pass up a museum, a cosmetics museum doesn't exactly sound like my cup of tea.
You got to help me. I need another kid along so I can goof off and be myself. I'll be bored out of my skull if you don't come. Please?
Oh, for you... Why not? It'll be a girls' day out.
Yes, Gretch! You are the best friend a girl could ever have.
[T.J. is impersonating King Bob with his friends laughing hysterically]
TJT.J.
Your king craves sustenance. [points to Gretchen] You there, smart girl, design and build a restaurant, then go inside and make me something to eat.
[chuckles] Right away, Your Highness.
TJT.J.
Very good. In the meantime, large thoughtful boy, give me your Winger-Dingers.
But Your Highness, I ate all my Winger-Dingers.
TJT.J.
That's a royal outrage! Take this Winger-Dinger singer to the dodgeball wall!
A Winger-Dinger singer. That's me, all right.
Man, T.J.'s King Bob impression is dead-on.
TJT.J.
You there, your king has an itchy bottom.
[lurking from a bush] That T.J. thinks he's so funny. Well, King Bob won't think so when he finds out…
KBKing Bob
[off-screen] Scribe Kid, get this down.
And it looks like he'll find out sooner than later.
TJT.J.
Thanks a lot, Randall. I'm sorry, King Bob.
KBKing Bob
Indeed. Bring him to me. Not Detweiler, him. [gesturing to Randall]
TJT.J.
Huh?
Maybe I wasn't clear before. T.J. was making fun of you.
KBKing Bob
Of course Detweiler was making fun of me. He's a crazy monkey boy. It's what he does. You, on the other hand, are the boy who cried "king" once too often.
I'm not sure I follow.
TJT.J.
Why so heavy on the books, Gretch?
We have to do research so we can successfully explore the topic and come up with a unique idea in which to focus.
TJT.J.
That's great, Gretch, but we don't have to do any of that research stuff.
We don't have to do research?
TJT.J.
Nah, I already got a great project all figured out. All we need are some sweet supplies and 20 minutes, tops. [winks]
[unsure] I don't know. We'll be better off with a project that requires real work. Since I know you like tools, I thought a project demonstrating the Irrigation of Ancient Mesopotamia might be just our ticket.
TJT.J.
Irritation of Meso-who?
Irrigation of Ancient Mesopotamia. It was the cradle of civilization.
TJT.J.
Oh, yeah, back when civilization was a baby.
Look, T.J., I have an abundance of material to get through, so if you don't mind...
TJT.J.
Okay, Gretch, but I'm telling you I got a project that just can't fail.
Well, I'm going to read about this just in case. Try not to make too much noise.
So you guys didn't get upset with T.J.?
Heck no. T.J. was just being T.J.
Yeah, Gretch, and with your smarts and T.J.'s style, you're looking at the easiest project you've ever done.
You know something, Spinelli? You might just have a point. Why am I fighting the charm, the verve, the unmitigated moxie that is T.J. Detweiler?
You can't do it. It can't be done.
My friends, this time around, I'm going to do the smart thing.
TJT.J.
Alright! The passing streak continues.
Not your best effort, Gretchen, but you slid by.
What are we going to do with all those smackeroonies?
TJT.J.
Well, Gretch, I've got a couple of ideas. I'm gonna use the money to buy a skyscraper or a rocket. Here's the tender part. Either way, I'm doing my shopping in a jetpack!
Kid stuff. I'm using my share to start the world's coolest sport. It'll be a combination of pro-wrestling and bowling I call, "Strikeout!" Of course, I'll referee things for my jetpack.
Interesting notions, Spinelli, but I plan to use my unexpected windfall to help others, by researching and curing all diseases. Yes, it worked! I did it! I found the cure! Thank you! Of course, I'll use a jetpack to survey the beautiful world I've saved.
That sounds wonderful, Gretchen, but there's only one way I would spend this fortuitous fortune. I'll pay off my tab at Kelso's, and then I'll give Mr. Kelso a ride on my jetpack!
About time you paid up, Mikey.
Well, I'm a rich kid who likes the sea. I'm going to get the most beautiful yacht I can find and sail it all over the world. And I'll never have to dock it. 'Cause I'll just fly to it on my J.P.
TJT.J.
Classy, Vince. Very classy.
I will build a better jetpack. I'll even test-pilot it myself. [screams as he flies too high] How do I stop this thing?! [back to reality] Or maybe I'll just buy monster stickers.
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