BBrandon
[singing] Oh, say can you see / by the dawn’s… [the bee buzzing appears] …dawn’s early light / what’s so proud… [Brandon open your mouth at bee swarm and gets injured]
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
BBoy
[points at Brandon as he starts choking] He swallowed the bee!
[pounding the desk] This is a catastrophe! A catastrophe I say!
Old video out... new video in. [laughs manically; then starts gasping and coughing] I think I may have swallowed my retainer.
FSFlo Spinelli
You must be B.J. He's the one our little honey bunny has the crush on.
Mom!
Let me tell you something about friends, pally. Friends are people who say they're going to meet you at the movies and never show up. Friends are people who tell you the puddle is only an inch deep and then you step in it and you're up to your knees in mud. Friends are people who run your underwear up the flagpole ...with you in it! Friends are ...friends are jerks!
TJT.J.
[whistles, stopping the gang's fighting] Come on, guys. We're all pals here. Who cares whose best friend I am?
Well, I do care who my best friend is. And if that's the way you feel about it, T.J., then I don't want to be friends with you, or any of you. [storms off]
Same here. [also storms off]
Me too. [also storms off in the opposite direction]
Goodbye. [walks off]
Uh, what they said. [also walks off in the opposite direction]
TJT.J.
But… but, guys, wait! Come back!
Oh, boy, that was neat! So, you ready to tell me your favorite color?
TJT.J.
I don't get it. Vince hanging out with King Bob? It's crazy.
Hey, if you think that's crazy, you should see who Gretchen's hanging out with.
TJT.J.
Who is Gretchen hanging out with?
[hanging upside-down with her new best friend, Upside-down Girl] Whoa, what a rush.
TJT.J.
Gretchen?
Oh, hello, Theodore.
TJT.J.
What are you doing?
Writing my essay about my new best friend, Upside-down Girl, using my space pen from NASA by the way.
TJT.J.
But you don't even like hanging upside-down.
Oh, I guess that shows how much you know about me, doesn't it?
TJT.J.
But, Gretchen…
Please, I don't wanna talk about it anymore. It's far too easy to throw up in this position.
TJT.J.
This is weird. Gretchen hanging with Upside-down Girl, Vince guarding King Bob.
Gus digging with the diggers. Whoops. Did I say that out loud?
[They find Gus hanging out with the diggers]
As far as I'm concerned, I don't care if I ever play with any of you guys again.
TJT.J.
Come on, Gus, you mean you'd rather play with the diggers?
Are you kidding? Sam and Dave are great! They let me dig as much as I want, and I get to keep the shiny rocks I can find.
DSDigger Sam
Hey, Griswald, break's over! Give me a number four shovel, now!
Yes, sir. I better go. My new friends need me.
TJT.J.
Can't you tell them to wait?
Are you nuts? They'll take away my helmet.
TJT.J.
This is terrible. I-I can't believe this is happening.
You know T.J., you look like you could use a little spiritual advice.
[They meet Mikey hanging out with Guru Kid as his new best friend]
Cease becoming, my friend. Begin to be.
KKid
Huh? I don't get it. How is that supposed to get me out of detention?
Next.
GKGuru Kid
[impressed] Very good, my son. You have learned well.
Thanks, Guru Kid. You're a real friend, unlike some people.
TJT.J.
Mikey, what are you doing?
Communing with people who appreciate my innate spiritual gifts.
TJT.J.
I appreciate your insane spiritual gifts, Mikey. Now put your shirt on and let's all just be friends again.
No, T. J., I'm way too hurt to be friends with you guys anymore. Now if you'll step aside, there are kids here who need my help with some very important issues.
TJT.J.
[reading his "Best Friend" report out loud to the class] "People say a best friend is the most important friend a kid could have, that a best friend is someone who makes you laugh, someone you go to for advice, someone who can come to you for advice. Well, that's great for people who have a best friend, but I don't. I have no best friend. But there are some friends I do have. One's a great athlete, the most popular kid in school. He could hang out with anybody, but instead, he hangs out with me. Another friend of mine is the smartest kid I ever met. She could probably build an atom bomb, but instead, she uses her brains to help me when I'm down. And then I've got a friend who's so tough, she could take on a guy twice her size, but instead, she stands up for kids who can't defend themselves. Another one of my pals is a big guy, real big. To a lot of kids, he looks scary, but he wouldn't hurt a fly. In fact, he's got a heart of gold. And then there's my newest friend. Some guys say he's a scaredy-cat, but I know deep down, he's a hero. When I see him swallow his fear and do what needs to be done, it reminds me of why things are worth standing up for. Yeah, some people say a best friend is the most important friend a kid could have, but I say, "Why pick one? All my friends are the most important friends I have." So don't feel sorry for me, I'm the luckiest kid in the world. I don't have a best friend. I have five!"
[The class cheers for him]
[touched while sniffling] He thinks I'm a great athlete.
[Later after school… the gang has been reunited]
TJT.J.
Well, guys, it's great to have the gang back together.
Let's never fight again, okay?
You got it, pal.
By the way, sorry about the geek comment, Gretchen.
No problem, old friend.
And I apologize about calling you fatso, Mikey.
That's okay, little fella.
[Prickly, hypnotized into thinking he's 6 years old, runs wild through the playground, and pulls Spinelli's hat down over her eyes]
...Did he just do what I think he did?
Yup.
[She screams to show her reaction; she tries to run after Prickly, but gets grabbed by Mikey] LET ME AT 'IM! LET ME AT 'IM!
[Episode starts with Miss Grotke handing back the class their graded book reports]
TJT.J.
[shocked when he receives a C-] C-?! Hey, no fair, Miss Grotke.
I'm sorry, T.J., but a "roller-coaster ride" I couldn't put down is not a book report… It's a cover blurb.
TJT.J.
Oops. [chuckles embarrassingly]
[seeing Miss Grotke not noticing a mud puddle, which she's about to step in] Oh, no! Look out, MAMA!
LILunchlady Irma
Here you go, just like mama makes. [laughs]
[As she runs away, Spinelli slows down and looks at the sidewalk; she examines and takes notice at the neon sign that says "Manny Matt's Grill" on the window. As she is still looking, the letters of the sign blew off and began to say what each word says when some letters are blew off.]
"Ma, Ma's, Gr ll...?" [closes her eyes and covers her ears, having a frustrated expression on her face; feels the world mocking her, and begins to exclaim a powerful scream to show her reaction] NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! [While screaming, she turns around and consumes the camera as the German Sheppard dog still repeatedly shouts, "Mama's girl!" The scene ends with a black screen, in which her throat is already zoomed in, stopping the scream and ending the scene]
Uh, sorry, guys. I guess this wasn't the best time for me to practice my cursive.
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