Randall in “Unfinished Business”

Randall

Let me tell you something about friends, pally. Friends are people who say they're going to meet you at the movies and never show up. Friends are people who tell you the puddle is only an inch deep and then you step in it and you're up to your knees in mud. Friends are people who run your underwear up the flagpole ...with you in it! Friends are ...friends are jerks!