Mike the TV quotes from ReBoot

You're tuned to the commercial channel-- all commercials, all the time! An eternity of useless products to rot your skeevy little mind... forever!

The LOOOOOOOVE Hospital. Your prescription for romance.

This is Mike the TV coming to you live from the heart of downtown Mainframe! The city has been restored, and all our heroes can take a well-earned break. Soooooo, I guess that leaves me in charge! [Laughs maniacally] Hey! Hey, hey, where're you going? Wait, wait, there's more! A special offer! For those viewers out there who missed ReBoot season 3 and have no idea what's going on, we proudly present, for your appreciation, this cycle only, the marvellous, magnificent Mainframe Strolling Players!

It's just awful. Those two are gonna crash us all.

Copy and paste that!

We gotta do something!

Dot won't talk to Bob. Bob won't talk to Dot. What can we do?!

[Jumps on Phong's desk] Bob and Dot, Dot and Bob! May lay and Mainframe! When will it end?! Will Bob give up?! Will Bob flee to the supercomputer?!

Leave Mainframe?!

Super computer?!

Get back?!

[Mike the TV jumps off desk] Calmness, everyone. Now listen. It is said that broken friendship is best mended by tragedy or apology.

Wow, alphanumeric. Deep. What do you mean exactly, Phong?

I have no idea, child. But you must ponder my words.

Tragedy or apology. Hmm. Dude. That might actually work.

In the first series of events, The athletes will rack up as many points as they can! The more, the better! But wait, there's more! These scores determine the starting positions in the winner-take-all final event, THE ELIMINATOR! Whoever wins the Eliminator, wins the Game! But now, another word from our sponsor...!

Did you hear that?! We've gotta score as many points as possible! Or we're all... [gulp] wiped out!

Don't worry, coach! I will help you win!

Dot

WE will help you win!

Yup! You got it, Enzo!

Dot

Winning is our format!

Consider it inputted!

Dot

No problem!

Ahem... Uh, there's just one thing...

Yes?

What are "points"?

AAAAAAGH! We're all gonna be nullified!

No matter where they ran, where they turned, there was simply... No... WAY... OUT!

Log off, Mike!

IT SLICES! DICES! Cuts! Copies! Pastes! And even formats julienne fries! But wait there's more: act now and we'll port you the handy log-o-matic absolutely free for only 99.99.99!

Ahhh! Mike! For the 128 time, stop!

Can't we just turn him off?

I can't. His remote control ran away.

Dot

Can you blame it?

It's Bucket-o-nothing! Surprise your friends, amaze your family, annoy perfect strangers! Free for only $99.99.99!

That's it! You're getting dismantled! Glitch, screwdriver. [Mike screams away]

What?! A Thief?! I'm not the warrior? Haha. Ha. I'm always a warrior.

Well, if you're not the warrior, but, who is?

Dun da da DUUUUUUUNNNNN...! Mike The Mighty Warrior! Tonight at 8.

[Bob looks at Mike]] This is bad. Very bad!

No, Not, Never, Nine, No way, Ixnay on the "S" part, Negatory!

You can come with us on one condition: stay outta our way, OK?

[As John Wayne] Guaranteed to work behind the scenes, so you don't have to, pilgrim. [Aside, to 4th wall] Outta sight or your money back!

Megabyte

I've always wanted to do that... Haha...

Dot

Hahaha... Happy Birthday, Enzo!

Ladies and gentlemen, Megabyte has left the building! [Elvis Binome hops on]

Next time on True Stories of Mainframe!

Arrrrg, how do you know that then?

I'm a Gardener! I know everything!

Psst! That's Guardian! Guardian!

It's coming! It's coming I tell ya! Backspace for your lives. Run, run, RUN! And when you're finished, run some more!

[Searching for Megabyte's pet null Nibbles] Ahem. We're looking for a null.

Slash

That's right, uh, have you seen one?

Have I seen one? HAVE I SEEN ONE?! ...that's a joke, right?

Hey, whaddaya mean "joke"?

Slash

Joke. Noun. Something said or done to cause laughter, something not in earnest, or ridiculous.

[Look at him with surprise]

Hack, Slash, it's your lucky day. You were looking for a single null. Well, what about two million? It's Nullzilla!

OK, let's do it. Black Beetle Turbo-Pincer Force.

Dot

Ladybird Accelerator Spotted-Carapace Force!

Grasshopper Sync-Pulse Hopping Force!

[ Barks and growls, summoning a wasp vehicle]

....Gnat Slightly Annoyed High-Pitched Buzzing Force.

Heeey...! Is there rumor of this private show for cameo by everyone's favorite talking television?

NNOOO!