TV show quotes
Characters
Queer DuckJim J. Bullock · 21 quotes
Openly Gator12 quotes
Bipolar Bear5 quotes
Oscar Wildcat4 quotes
BPBi-Polar Bear3 quotes
Most scenes together: Queer Duck & Openly Gator (12), Queer Duck & Bipolar Bear (3), Queer Duck & Oscar Wildcat (2)
So son, when are you going to get yourself a girlfriend and give us some grandchildren?
Well, gee, dad I guess I haven't found the right girl.
[Under his breath] Yeah... one with a penis.
What was that?
Mother? Father? ...I'm gay!
[Asking him if he'll come out to his parents.] What about you, Bi-Polar Bear?
I already told my father, he was totally shocked... and so was his boyfriend! [Laughs]
[After Queer Duck turns off the porno]
Hey! I was watching that!
[Handing him a drink] Here! [Little Lucky drinks it]
Why did you turn it off? I'm gonna---[Passes out]
[To Openly Gator] Did you give my nephew a roofie?
...Half!
The whole party's coming back to me! This place was wall-to-wall cock! [Sees Little Lucky] coke! We were doing coke...a-cola. We drank Coca Cola and Mountain Dew and Doctor Poppers--eh Pepper!
Go back to bed.
Good idea...
Who was that?
The boogeyman.
I've slept with seven men in my... in my li... in my.. li
In your lunch break?
In my life!
And you call yourself a homosexual?!? Please!
I'm a recovering homosexual!
[Talking to Queer Duck and gay animals.] I want you to stop obsessing over other men and start obsessing over Jesus!
You mean that shirtless guy with the nice abs?
That's him!
[Queer Duck makes a prank phone call to Dr. Laura's show and the group shares high fives]
Openly Gator!
Christ! I nearly wet myself!
Bipolar Bear!
I nearly wet him too! [laughs]
Oscar Wildcat!
I haven't seen such urbane gay wit since they canceled Gomer Pyle!
If it's a crime to love Barbara Streisand, then lock me up! [Queer Duck appears in a prison cell] Seventy-five years without parole? Oh, my gay stars!
[Wolf whistle]
You sure got a pretty beak!
[Impersonating BS] Why hello gorgeous!
[Waiting in a long line for Barbara Streisand tickets.]
Come on, come on, let's get moving!
This is like a gay-pride pirade in slow motion.
Welcome to homos in slow-mo. [laughs then pauses] I'll be quiet.
You do that.
[seeing his nose twisted by the weights] I'm a freak!
No! You look cute with your little... turned up nose.
[Queer Duck is giving the Minotaur a massage and he seems to be enjoying it]
Man, you should teach this to my wife!
You're wife?!? [applies a pressure hold and makes the Minotaur pass out]
Bipolar Bear, will you pound the organ?
Ya betcher booty! But first I'll play some music! [laughs]
Its like a convent in here! Hundreds of Marys all dressed in black!
I, Adam Seymour Duckstein take you, Steven Arlo as my one and only. Unless you're out of town, or we have a really big fight, or when its one part of a man's body coming through a hole in the wall... [hours pass, the sun sets] ...and it doesn't count as cheating if its a threesome, or that really cute delivery boy! Uhm... amen?
[emotionally] Oh, Queer Duck! You really do love me!
[In the midst a plane crash.]
Queer Duck, if we survive this plane crash, will you marry me?
Ah, we're not going to survive this are we?
No.
Then sure!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Queer Duck pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.