Hunter quotes from Queer as Folk (US)

Ben

Whatcha reading pal?

Hunter

Catcher in the fucking Rye. Ever hear of it?

Ben

Variation thereof. What do you think?

Hunter

I think Holden Caufield's a fag.

Ben

Hmm. How do you figure that?

Hunter

Catcher is a bottom right?

Ben

I am going to call the Dean of Carnegie Mellon tomorrow to see if there's a position in the Lit department.

Hunter

I thought the meds were supposed to keep you alive? Not kill you.

Ben

Doesn't always work that way.

Michael

What the hell are you doing?

Hunter

Smoking your hidden joint, what does it look like?

Michael

You can't open someone Else's mail. It's a federal offense!

Hunter

I can see it now... I'm on death row waiting lethal injection. This mass murderer who killed 48 babies and ate them asks me what I'm being executed for. I say, "opening Ben's letter."

Michael

[Hunter comes into the Comic book store] Well, look who it is! Come to shoot the breeze, a heart to heart, spend a little quality time with your dashing young dad?

Hunter

I need 20 bucks.

Michael

I knew it. What do you want it for?

Hunter

My upwardly mobile lifestyle; being a teenager's expensive.

Michael

Well, you should have thought of that before you became one.

Hunter

Look, I don't have a boyfriend, okay?

Michael

What do you mean, you told me...

Hunter

I told you I had a friend. I didn't say it was a boy.

Hunter

No one's ever gonna love me.

Ben

That's not true. We love you. Whether you're positive or not. Whether you're gay or not.

Michael

And others will too.

Ben

Gears lubed up, seat nice and tight.

Hunter

I'm gonna ride it, not fuck it.

And do you Ben promise to love, respect, and cherish Michael and be his true and faithful husband?

Hunter

Say 'I do,' dude.

Ben

I do.

Hey faggot, here's 5 bucks. Why don't you suck me off?

Hunter

I charge way more than that for asshole's like you.

Brian

Hey champ.

Hunter

Fuck you.

Brian

It appears being straight doesn't agree with the lad.

Presto, you're famous.

Hunter

Yeah, I'm a cock sucking superstar. Except I don't see anyone asking for my autograph.

Ben

Your children lead privileged lives. And you dare to laugh at my son's misfortune.

Hunter

It's okay, Ben. I'm glad I came here tonight. Because I learned something to. Now I know how your kid's got to be the way they are.

Justin

What's the topic?

Hunter

Capital punishment. I'm all for it. I say fry the motherfucker's.

Michael

Now you see why we're so proud.

Ben

Great party, huh? Everybody seemed to have a good time.

Hunter

Yeah, if you call Melanie and Lindsay declaring a cease-fire, Brian leaving to go to a sex party, and you and Michael sticking that fucking camera in my face pretending we're this happy family having a good time.

Ben

We're not pretending, we are.