Lindsay quotes from Queer as Folk (US)

Emmett

Do you have any idea how hard that was for him?

Lindsay

I know, I feel so bad for him.

Melanie

I don't, he's a fucking drug user.

Emmett

That is not true. He tried it once.

Lindsay

Emmett, sweetie, you can tell me it's none of my business and to butt out, but if Ted wants to destroy himself that's his choice. Don't let him destroy you, too.

Emmett

Lindsay, sweetie, it's none of your business. So butt out.

Lindsay

You know what this reminds me of? Homecoming queen.

Brian

There was a lot riding on that election as well.

Lindsay

Waiting all night for the votes to be counted. Fortunately, I won.

Emmett

You too?

Lindsay

If I wasn't already a dyke, he'd have me diving for the nearest muff.

Melanie

And it's right here, baby.

Lindsay

I thought you should know, I'm happily married.

Sam

Yeah, who's the lucky guy?

Lindsay

He's not a guy, he's a woman.

Sam

All the better. Call her. We'll have a three-way.

Lindsay

Gus has been saying Dada all day.

Brian

So he's developed a sudden interest in German Surrealism.

Lindsay

Isn't he a little young for James Dean?

Brian

Well, you don't want him to watch Teletubbies, do you? It might make him gay.

Michael

Holy shoot! Did you check out the dick on this kid?!

Melanie

Or not.

Lindsay

That's the umbilical cord!

Lindsay

Did I happen to mention lest we forget that I'm a lesbian?

Sam

And did I mention that you sure don't fuck like one?

Lindsay

I still choose you.

Melanie

That's a very convincing testimony. I'm not so sure that I still choose you.

Melanie

I know which team I play on. It's not a choice or a preference, it's who I am. It's who I've always been. A rug-puncher, a muff diver, a cunt slapper, a bull, a Lizzie, a dyke.

Lindsay

What do you think I am?

Melanie

Don't ask me to make up your mind for you. You have to do that all by yourself.

Lindsay

I'm a lesbian.

Melanie

Not if you're having sex with a man, honey.

Lindsay

At least that's one good thing about not being allowed to marry.

Melanie

Not having to get a divorce.

Lindsay

I'm just sorry you had to witness our performance.

Justin

Oh, please. Brian and I have had a couple of Academy Award winner's ourselves.

When I heard about your relations with a man, I was hoping that...

Lindsay

What? That I'd be the daughter you always dream of? Well, I'm not mom. And I never will be.