Are you in my apartment?
Please. I haven't snuck into your apartment for weeks. Which reminds me, you're all out of peanut butter.
“Extradition: British Columbia” · Season 4, Episode 1
In this episode: Shawn Spencer (6), Carlton Lassiter (2), Gus (1), Juliet O'Hara (1)
Here's the thing, Robert: I am a psychic.
We work for the Santa Barbara Police Department. We've solved over forty-seven cases. I'm also a pharmaceutical rep, if that means anything to you.
You've seen The Mentalist, right?
RRobert
Yes.
It's like that.
Except that guy's a fake.
Right. If I were a fake psychic, it would be eerily similar.
Exactly the same.
A virtual carbon copy.
[writing list on napkin] Okay, here's what I'm going to do. First, I'm going to get me some of that maple candy that everyone seems to be raving about. Then, I'm going to purchase myself a walking stick. Preferably something with a ram's head carved into the handle. And finally, we're going to catch ourselves an international art thief. I'm not saying I'm sure it's going to be you, but right now, you're the top of the list.
I'm so sorry about this; my assistant makes all my reservations but she's been under heavy medication. She was recently diagnosed with parvo.
HCHotel Clerk
Isn't that a dog's disease?
Yes, yes it is. My assistant is a Golden Retriever, adorable but dim. Her whole keyboard is just three big buttons. She has very large paws. I should have fired her years ago but she's a rescue and I didn't have the heart.
I want to see your book.
RRobert
My book?
Yeah, the one with things that Despereaux might steal.
RRobert
But nobody ever wants to see my book.
I do; I want to see the book. [Takes waffles off of desk] I'm also going to eat these waffles.
Can you believe that? A high-ranking member of U.S. law enforcement not being allowed to carry his weapon on him?
Did you really think it wouldn't set off the metal detector?
I've got to get my hands on a gun, O'Hara. I have enemies everywhere. Maybe I can pick one up at the hotel.
Oh, absolutely, right downstairs in the gift shop. They have Kleenex, mixed nuts, and 9-millimeter Lugers.
Man, I thought you were so cool. But you're just here to look the part. This whole time I'm thinking, This guy is Thomas Crown. You're barely Remington Steele.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Psych pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.