“Revenge and Remorse” quotes from Police Squad!

He hangs out there with some chorus girl, a floozy named Mimi Du Jour.

Ed

Du Jour? Is she French?

That's just her stage name, her real name is Mimi Coffee.

Ed

Coffee?

No, thank you.

Is this some kind of bust?

Frank

Yes, ma'am, it's very impressive, but we need to ask you a few questions.

We went to the movies.

Frank

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, On the Waterfront.

Ed

Come on, there are no movie theaters on the waterfront.

I can't believe anybody could do something so cruel.

Frank

Senseless brutality, senseless waste.

Ed

Cut down in the prime of life.

That car was a classic, a '68. Do you suppose the widow would take $1,500 for it?

Frank

All right Eddie, let's go over it one more time. Where were you last night?

I told you a dozen times, I was at the movies.

[after coming in] I got the sandwiches here.

Ed

All right Eddie, you went to the movies. Now what did you see?

I told you, I don't remember.

Who had the egg salad?

Ed

[mocking Eddie] I don't remember.

Somebody ordered it.

Frank

You don't expect us to buy that.

But I already paid for it.

Why don't you give a guy a break?

Thanks a lot.

What's the charge?

$4.58.

Ed

What are you trying to do, insult us?

Okay, $3.50. Coffee's on me.

I told you, I went to the movies, I fell asleep, I don't remember.

Frank

You don't expect us to swallow that.

All right, I'll eat it! But I don't think it's fair that I should have to pay for it. [walks away]

Ed

All right Eddie, let's say you did go to the movies.

Okay.

You did go to the movies.

Frank

Now let's say you were nowhere near the Club Flamingo.

All right.

You were nowhere near the Club Flamingo.

Frank

Then, explain this to me. [shows him the matchbox]

Well, you take this little cardboard stick out with sulfur on the end, and you rub it on the edges, and it makes fire.

Frank

[narrating] When I got home I received a call from Mimi Du Jour, she wanted me to come to the club right away. Since I had no idea where the Club Rightaway was, I suggested to go to the Club Flamingo. She agreed.