Lord Boxman quotes from OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes

(laughs) Looks just like your head, K.O..

K.O.

You-- You shouldn’t underestimate us! I mean him. There’s probably a super-tough puzzle we need to solve to get…

Oh! Ahh! Ow! Aah!

[examining his dad’s smashed car] Well, this doesn’t seem too bad. Yeah, it’s gonna be okay. I can totally fix this.

Sweet, we’re moving away from the plaza now. Let’s bounce, squirt. Uh, squirt? Squirt!

K.O.

Oh. Coming!

Lord Boxman

Gah! Blast! What is happening out there? [Turns around and sees Mega-Jethro approaching close to his factory] Poop. [Mega-Jethro makes an impact with the factory, setting off an explosion.]

Too easy.

This is Action News 52, bringing you your daily dose of action news!

[Kicks a door out] Action! Hup! This is Dynamite Watkins, comin’ at you live in the heart of the neutral zone. We’re here in front of Gar’s bodega, where a crowd has gathered to see the newcomer hero with a power level of 100. You heard me, level 100! And here is the famed hero himself, K.O.! How does it feel being the most powerful being in the plaza-- possibly the world!

K.O.

Well, I always knew I would be a great hero some day, but I didn’t think it would happen after only a week! Guess I’m just that good!

And how do your friends and family feel about this newfound power of yours?

Enid

[Enid and Rad tries to get in the way] Make way, coming though! Move it, jerk! Not to brag, but me and K.O. go way back to the beginning of the week. N.B.D.

And I sort of act as K.O.’s best friend/life coach/older brother figure. We’re really close.

K.O.! Can i have your autograph?!

K.O.

Ha, sure kid. [Signs Potato’s book] [Thinking] Wow, being level 100 is so cool. [Signs another book] Everyone loves me and I feel so important! [Signs Brandon’s arm] I can’t wait to put my amazing skills to the test and some dastardly foe! [Signs another book] And who should I make this out to?

Lord Boxman

Lord Boxman.

K.O.

[Continues to sign] Lord… Boxm-- Lord Boxman!

Lord Boxman

So, you’re the little twerp claiming to be level 100. Ha! Impossible!

K.O.

Oh, yeah? If I weren’t a level 100, how else would i have kicked your butt all week?

Lord Boxman

Well, that was… on purpose! I lost to you on purpose, yes, as a… as a prank on you! So… ha! Anyway, [pulls out a remote] today I have something specially prepared that only a true level 100 hero could handle. Much stronger than anything you’ve yet faced. [A Boxmore box falls from the sky, revealing a giant Darrell.] Say hello to my latest creation. I call him, Big Darrell. I’ve upped him to be level negative 100! Ba-ha-ha!

Oh! This is bad!

Enid

K.O., this thing is really powerful. Yeah bud, maybe we should call Mr.-- mph!

K.O.

[Shoves his Pow Card to Rad’s mouth] Heh. Trust me, guys, this will be easy for a level 100 like me. Just try not to get in the way. you really think this bucket of bolts will be able to stop me? Heh. i stomped you once and I’ll stomp you again, Lord Buttman!

K.O.! K.O.! K.O.! K.O.!

We're sorry, Father! We tried!

Lord Boxman

Ah, yes. Tried. Tried and failed-- for the last time!

Darrell

Oh, I bet we could fail way more times.

Quiet!

Lord Boxman

You do not need to try. You need to do! (sighs) I knew you two would fail me again today. So I created a new robot to succeed where you never could! Say hello to Raymond!

(laughs) Here comes... the player of the year!

Already hate him.

Hello, dearest brother and sister. Care for a friendly game of ball?

No, thanks.

Darrell

Oh, I'm open!

Of course, there is no game to be played, when there is just one player.

Lord Boxman

Brilliant introduction, Raymond! So very rude!

Thank you, Coach Boxman. Of course it was brilliant! You are, after all, the master engineer behind this vessel of pure athleticism.

Totally just parlor tricks of a slimy amateur clown.

Father, I will make you proud by stealing a letter from the Gar's Bodega sign. Then no one will know they're a store. Their profits will plummet, and with that, they forfeit the business game.

Lord Boxman

I love it!

Lord Boxman

Raymond, you're my favorite. I've always loved you. And I wish you two could be more like him.

Lord Boxman

Let us go, Raymond, and equip you with strong weapons.

(laughs) Yes! Hole in one.

This is all your fault, glass brain! Now Father hates me.

Darrell

Oh, yeah, right! He hates me more. But he loves Raymond so much more than both of us.

Raymond is gonna fail anyways. But he won't fail as spectacularly as you!

Darrell

Say that again, you orange mushroom head!

K.O.

So, you're gonna let us go?

Lord Boxman

No. I'm just gonna have to wait until after dinner, like a mint-- a punish-mint.

♪When you're climbing up a ladder♪

Lord Boxman

Nooooo!! [runs off to stop her]

Don't play with your food.

(growls) But it tastes like foo foo!

Lord Boxman

(laughs nervously) I think it's time for a toast. To the loveliest and most bestest client in the whole wide world-- Professor Venomous!

Lord Boxman

Whose mastery of bio-engineering is unparalleled and-- [Darrell suddenly appears at the table wearing a sailor suit.] and a true inspiration to-- Get out of here, Darrell!! (chuckles nervously)

You had better have a good explanation for this.

Yeah! Coconut cream?! What were you thinking?!

Lord Boxman

Professor, I-I— I… Ooooohh! I’ll destroy those brats for ruining dessert!

Oh! Are we destroying brats?

Darrell

Are having dessert? [A pie is thrown at him] Ugh! [Lord Boxman catches him] Thanks, Dad. [Lord Boxman bends him] Ooh!

Enid

Uh, guys, we’re tapped.

Lord Boxman

[Rips his coat and shirt and puts his tie around his head] And now you’re trapped! [Fires the pies which pelts the gang]

Enid

Ugh!

Boxman!

Lord Boxman

Oh! Professor, please! I-I can explain! I can explain! I can— I can— Okay, I can’t explain. But this was not the way it was supposed—

[Covers his mouth] May I?

Lord Boxman

Oh… yes. By all means.

Dinner parties are just so… stuffy. [Loads the bazooka] But vanquishing heroes— now, that’s much more exciting!

[On top of the bazooka] Fire!

[Laughs] [Falls off] Whoa! Oof!

I have to be honest, Boxman. I agreed to come tonight with plans to sever our business relationship after dinner.

Lord Boxman

[Voice breaking] What?!

You seemed too distracted lately. Though, now I understand why that was. Hard to find folks who value the sport in squashing heroes. And if all your robots can be as fun as this one, then I’ll gladly order 1,000 of them!

Lord Boxman

You… still… want my robots? You still… [Whimpers] …want me?

Lord Boxman

Just… Big hug! [Thinking] Oh, Boxy! You really can have it all. [Fink triggers a punching glove to him] Waughhhh!

K.O.

W-What is this?

Enid

It’s called “losing.”

Would a loser get to travel the open air in a vehicle made of delicious pie? I don’t think so. [Eats the pie]

Lord Boxman

ENOUGH! Why are you all acting so...strange?

Darrell

Well, we know you're not allowed to attack the plaza for a whole day.

You must be truly hurting inside.

Lord Boxman

Stop! What are you trying to say here? That I'm obsessed?! That I have a...problem?

Uh, well, yeah. I mean, isn't attacking the plaza kinda, heh, the sole reason we exist?

That is true.

You got a point there.

Darrell

Yeah, yeah, I mean, come on.

Lord Boxman

Forget you guys! I don't have a problem! You know who has a problem? [points to Raymond] You with being nosy! I can, too, go a day without attacking the plaza! And I don't need your help to do it! I'll show you all! I'll show you! And I'll show you! And I'll definitely show you... [He disappears through a trapdoor in the floor.]

[as he rolls by] I am Jethro!

K.O.

(yawns) Man, it's sure been quiet, huh, guys?

K.O.

Oh, finally, a custom-- aah!

Enid

What do you want, Boxman?

Lord Boxman

You can put those away.

Enid

[takes her foot back] Explain.

Lord Boxman

Ahemp. (clears throat) Mi mi mi mi mi miiii. I, uh, Lord Boxman-- me, that is, hereby...vow...to-oo-oo-oo-oo... [High-pitched voice] stop attacking the plaza. [Normal voice] Wooow! [gets ready to leave] That felt great to get that off of my che--

[stops him] Wait a sec! Could you repeat that last part?

Lord Boxman

D'oh! My bosses say that I can't go a day without attacking you. But! [holds up a countdown clock] Look at that! One minute left!

Seriously?

Enid

Oh, come on. It's 'cause you failed so many times, isn't it?

Lord Boxman

Nooooo-uh! It's just-- It's driving me crazy and my bosses crazy. So there! Pbbt!

K.O.

W-what happens if you did attack us?

Enid

(sarcastically) Oh, that's so sad. One moment. [The trio gets into a huddle.] If Boxman attacks us, he'll get fired and leave us alone! [They turn back towards him.] Fight me, Buttman!

Robots blow!

Enid

Boxes...are terrible!

K.O.

[hears something on the phone] What's that? The president of the universe says all boxes must be replaced with...

Best friends?! Friendship! Friendship! Friendship! Wow! Yayyyyyyyy! (laughing)

Lord Boxman

I have better things to do now than to waste time on you piddling fools. (chuckles) So long, clown babies! Boxman out. (howls) [goes outside]

Enid

You know, maybe it's for the best. I mean, I don't wanna be the reason that Boxman loses his job.

You're right, Enid. Even someone like him doesn't deserve unemployment, just 'cause he's a weird old man.

K.O.

We are all very thoughtful and kind, even to our enemies.

Bring it in for a big friend hug.

K.O.

Mmm! Yay!

Lord Boxman

(laughs evilly) You horrible little brats! [tips over a gumball machine] Ha-ha-ha-ha! You know what I hate? [knocks some jars off of a shelf] I-I hate your niceness! He-he. [gets up on the counter and spins around] Ooh, and I hate your friendliness! (chuckles) [Enid gags] I hate you kids! [kicks the store's rug] I hate this bodega! [kicks it again] I hate Lakewood Plaza Turbo! Bwahaha, yes I do! [runs off laughing hysterically]

Sounds like your meeting with Miss Cosma sure went well. You must be glad to be rid of that obsession of yours now, huh?

Lord Boxman

You know, Ernesto 1701, I learned something interesting about myself in the last 24 hours.

What's that, sir?

Lord Boxman

I learned that I don't need to attack the plaza. [gets out a chest and opens it to reveal a button] (Evilly) I want to. [pushes the button five times]

What the?!

Lord Boxman

Never gets old.