Christian: I don't have that kind of liquidity right now.
James: Then I suggest you melt some of your money.

Christian: I have surgery this afternoon, Sean. If I don't get my caffeine, I will fire Linda as soon as she even thinks about rolling her eyes at me.
Sean: Linda is irreplaceable. There is no McNamara/Troy without her. And there shouldn't be a Troy/Landau without her either.
Christian: You're the one I can't replace, Sean.

Christian: I want her dazzling enough that it would give my dick amnesia.

Christian: I won't tell him your secret if you don't tell him mine.
Michelle: What's your secret?
Christian: That I made love to his wife before dinner.

Christian: I'd prefer a blond that can suck the yellow off a canary than brunettes with tight asses.

Christian: I'm doing this after hours because I don't want Michelle to know. You deal with me now.
James: You're not going to tell her the sacrifices you're making on her behalf? And they say chivalry is dead.

Christian: [about her rejuvenated hands] How do they feel?
James: Clean. Untouched by time. If only you could do the same with my heart.

Christian: I'm way past shooting for sainthood, sweetheart. God gave me a dick and I intend to glorify him by playing that organ as intensely and as often as possible.

Christian: I've been wanting to talk to you since Faith's office. I lied about what happened in there.
Sean: I knew you didn't screw her over the desk!
Christian: No, that part's true. I mean about... What she said about the dream. About me having feelings for you. (pause) Not those kind of feelings. I never really thought I was gay. It was Faith who tried to convince me of that. I just think I have intimacy issues, y'know, with anybody in my life that...I love. I get confused and it's really hard for me to express myself. (pause) That sounded really gay, didn't it?
Sean: Yeah.
Christian: Yeah, well, screw you! Screw you! (there is a little joking play fighting between the men) Seriously, I love you.
Sean: I know. I love you too.

Christian: Just because I groom, doesn't mean I've gone brokeback.

Christian: Just so you know, this Encino crap ain't gonna cut it. It's Rodeo Drive the whole way. With my sizzling good looks and brilliant business savvy and your moderately impressive talent, I think we could take over this town.
Sean: Sorry, not interested. Unless I get to pick out the carpet this time, and retain my customary first billing.
Christian: I think we could work something out.

Christian: Michelle didn't tell me her pimp had a pimp.
James: We all eventually have to face a higher power. Some are a bit more brutal than others.

Christian: Michelle is the kind of woman who wants to feel like a spider and I'm a helpless little fly caught in her web.
Liz: Do you think that you could teach me to be as full of shit as you are?
Christian: I thought lesbians didn't play games. I thought it was all about cuddling and sharing of depilatory cream.

Christian: So you'll give your night nurse a nose job but you won't give your partner some lunchtime lipo?

Christian: Sweetheart, everything I need to know about you is bouncing around in front of my face.

Christian: Sweetheart, you're two hours late. If you were a pizza, I'd get you for free.