I'm a widely successful plastic surgeon with great hair, pro-white teeth and a 33-inch waist. I'm a goddamn superhero and I'm going to put that cape back on, fly back into every singles bar in town and bang myself silly.
S3 E11Abby Mays
Beauty is symmetry, and you don't have any. First, I'll need to get rid of all this nasty cottage cheese. And here, with some laser hair removal to keep this forest under control. These mud flaps will need to be lopped off. Have you ever picked up anything heavier than a carton of Haagan-Daaz?
We don't need you for this surgery, Quentin. Why don't you just go home?
Or why don't you head down to the docks? I hear there's a whole bunch of sailors just arrived with three-day passes.
[to Julia] Here's something that slipped through the crack. Some guy's cock in your boyfriend's ass!
Look, after being attacked, accused of murder, rejected by your mother, and dumped by your bride, who wouldn't be angry? It all makes sense. You've had a really rough year, Christian, but you shouldn't be taking it out on her.
Enough with your feminazi bullshit, Liz! [Edit] Shut up and serve the surgeon!!
AMAbby Mays
Just because I am ugly, doesn't mean I'm attracted to ugly, Dr. Troy. I get all the magazines. I watch MTV. I'm as affected by the media as anyone else.
S3 E12Sal Perri
NNatalie
[to Julia] Ma's O-negative. She said, 'The best part about being a universal donor was that she could never be so broke that she couldn't give something to the needy.'
Your mom's a baseball fan?
NNatalie
Nah. She's just an ex-Catholic who believes God speaks to us through the Red Sox.
What's God trying to say?
NNatalie
Miracles happen. Believe in someone enough and they'll surprise you.
You're a remarkable person, Jules. Every time I look at you in there, so capable, strong, not afraid of any of it. You'd have made a much better doctor than I am. I always thought I was the one who could handle anything. Who wasn't afraid to get his hands dirty, could deal with all the shit that's just part of life. I never wanted to know about Matt because I couldn't live with the truth. I never asked about you and Christian. I couldn't deal with all the questions I'd have to ask about us.
There's a reason I'm a plastic surgeon. If something's ugly, I fix it. What's imperfect, I make perfect, wipe away the mess, make it all nice. I couldn't do what these guys do. Life and death. Losing more than you save and moving on to the next, just one after the other.
[talking to the body identified as Erica] I forgive you for not loving me. It's Okay. I didn't love you either. I just craved your approval like it was somehow possible to get. I saved a life tonight, Mother. Well, two lives actually. A stranger's and my own.
Sometimes people misinterpret me until they get to know me.
I know you. I know you're someone who can only be big by making others feel small. I know I don't need people like you in my life anymore. And I know you're fired.
[Edit]
You are a bitch.
At least I am not yours.
S3 E13Joy Kringle
JKJoy Kringle
With childhood obesity rates the way they are today, fat is not an image we want to promote any more. [Edit] It's our sincere hope that by the time your kids have kids, Doctor, Santa will no longer be thought of as the fat man. He'll be trim, tight and a little bit sexy.
What about the elves? I always thought it was indentured servitude. Are you going to do something about that?
The Messiah? Liz, I thought you were an athiest.
I kinda go on the wagon around the holidays. You miss out on too much good music if you don't.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Nip/Tuck pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.