[about Michelle] You love her, Christian.
I do love her. But I can't trust her. Apparently, you're the only person I can trust. Absolutely trust.
S4 E15Gala Gallardo
Just so you know, this Encino crap ain't gonna cut it. It's Rodeo Drive the whole way. With my sizzling good looks and brilliant business savvy and your moderately impressive talent, I think we could take over this town.
Sorry, not interested. Unless I get to pick out the carpet this time, and retain my customary first billing.
I think we could work something out.
[in Sean's California operating room] Nurse, it's quieter than an ant's fart in here. Go play some music.
S5 E1Carly Sommers
It's been 2 months without even a botox shot, Christian. So far, the only thing I have to show for opening a new practice in Los Angeles is a better hook shot.
I wouldn't go that far. Look, we both knew it wasn't gonna be easy, right? But it's not like we can start up in a strip mall, hand out fliers hoping people will come through the door.
Worked the first time we started a business together.
At 25,baby! At 40, you gotta go all out. We owned Miami, right?
Yeah.
Right? So sooner or later, we're gonna make this town our bitch, too.
You're gonna need a bigger boat.
What?
Jaws. First time Brody sees the shark. You guys are in over your heads. You're chum, being devoured by all the Rodeo Drive great whites.
Jesus, does anyone in this town not have plastic surgery?
I feel like I'm trying to sell semen at a whorehouse.
Sean and Christian watching an episode of "Hearts N'Scalpels" together.
They should just be honest and rename the show "Shit".
Shit.
Pineapple juice, baby! Makes a man's shooty-shoot taste infinitely sweeter. It's nature's guarantee of a second date.
I think our credentials speak for themselves. I'm written up in the New England Journal of Medicine three times, Plastic Reconstructive Surgery Journal twice...
And how many times have you been written up in People Magazine, hotshot? You can't spit in this town without hitting a plastic surgeon from Harvard. It's not what you've done, it's whom. Celebrity is power.
Well, we're screwed. We can't get a celebrity til we've operated on a celebrity!
FPFreddy Prune
It's okay for Tony Soprano's best friend to be named Pussy but we're television--not HBO-- so we can't use the 'p' word on the network.
Well, we had a case a couple of years ago... Remember, Sean? This woman came into our office. She burned her lips off in a cooking accident.
Right, we had to do a graft using skin from her vagina. The only problem was, her husband didn't like oral sex, so she couldn't let him know where the skin came from.
We called her Pussy Lips. I'd watch a show with pussy lips on it.
FPFreddy Prune
How soon can you start?
We're not interested in just being consultants, Mr. Prune.
We're not?
We want producer credits and the occasional line.
ASAidan Stone
What the hell is this shit, Freddy? A musical episode? How gay is that? Come on, this is the kind of desperate schlock you don't do til your fifth season!
ASAidan Stone
Why is it that we're in the plastic surgery capital of the world and we're forced to work with these Miami wannabes? Can you tell me that?
You are not in charge here! I have seen kids playing doctor who have better surgical technique than you do! I'm giving you an opportunity to be more authentic. I would take it if I were you.
Look at us. Mutilating our bodies, selling out to some hack TV show. We're good surgeons. Why live in a place which doesn't appreciate us, you know? Maybe we should have moved somewhere where substance reigns over style. Like New York.
Julia's gone. Living a couple of subway stops away ain't gonna change that.
Look, you made a bold move coming out here, partner. Maybe the first one of your life, huh? How many guys our age finally get the opportunity to get the recognition they deserve? This is just the beginning.
Fame isn't love, Christian. Getting it isn't going to fill up some hole you've had inside you since you were a kid.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Nip/Tuck pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.