Looks like this guy's a couple puppies short of a pet shop!
Most suicide bombers are.
S4 E7Sandblast
S4 E8Once A Hero
MMarty
You don't have an unhealthy obsession with death now, do you?
Oh no! It's just a hobby!
NNelson
Do I need a lawyer?
Only if you're feeling guilty.
There's more than one reason to kiss a girl.
There is?
I know something else we could do to stay warm.
Really? I wonder what that could be? Coffee?
Dancing!
DiNozzo!
Boss?
Stop eating the evidence.
SECDEF staff are worried that it was an attempt on the life of their boss.
Are we worried?
If it was an assassination attempt, he's a lousy assassin. Used his body as a weapon and missed by 75 feet.
Well no bag, maybe the killer took it.
Maybe she just didn't have a bag.
Every woman has a bag.
Do I have a bag, McGee?
No, but you're not a... Well, I mean you're a woman, it's just, you're not a... Not a normal... You're right, every woman does not have a bag.
[The team is preparing Special Agent Lee for an undercover assignment to infiltrate a sex trafficking ring]
She looks the part, just like a..
Whore?
[glares at Ziva] A courtesan.
S4 E9Twisted Sister
That was quick.
You solved this case? Already, DiNozzo?
No. It's my hundredth body. Hey, listen. [handing Gibbs the camera] You wouldn't mind taking a...? Sorry. It's a bad idea. It seemed less disgusting in my head.
Compared to what else is in there, I'm sure it was.
Ah, there you are, Jen. I've been looking all over for you.
JJen
I thought since we were short on agents, Abby could use some help.
The only reason we are short on agents is because you sent DiNozzo home.
JJen
Well, there's no sense getting us all sick...
[as Gibbs] Next time you send one of my team home you clear it with me first, Director! [as Jen] Oh, I didn't know I needed your permission to handle my own personnel, Agent Gibbs! [as Gibbs] Your personnel?! [as Jen] Last time I checked, it said "Director" on my door, not yours! [to both of them] The kids don't like it when mommy and daddy fight.
[seeing McGee in the elevator waiting for Gibbs] And here I thought being sent to the principal's office was bad.
[about floor mat in taxi] I thought it smelled like Niozoprine.
Niozoprine? [smells it and gags]
Industrial strength vomit cleaner.
Do you know what a "clog" is?
A shoe or a blocked drain?
No, on the Internet.
Oh, I thought it was called a "blog," but then again my English is often wrong.
Sometimes a little lie is good for the soul.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.