Jiraiya quotes from Naruto

Jiraiya

It is I, the Toad Mountain Sage!

Jiraiya

[To Naruto] You ruined my peeking! I mean my research!

Jiraiya

[To Naruto] You really have absolute zero talent, don't you kid?

Jiraiya

[Preparing to put Naruto's life in danger] Please forgive me for what I am about to do, Fourth Hokage.

Jiraiya

[To young Tsunade] Aw just shut up you flat chested cutting board!

Jiraiya

[To Itachi and Kisame] You two don't know me at all, do you? Should've done your homework. Jiraiya the Toad Sage falls victim to no woman's charm! Rare beauties drop for me like blossoms in a storm! It isn't in my nature to be duped by the wiles of women. When you've reached the stature I have, the ladies kneel and worship at your awesomeness!

Jiraiya

[To Naruto] A person who feels nothing at the death of those close to him is no different than a butcher.

Jiraiya

[to Naruto] The only similarities between you and the Fourth Hokage are your pig-headedness and your spiky blonde hair!

Jiraiya

[To Naruto] I like them ripe and luscious with curves like that, see? And big, but not too big, know what I mean? If you bring me something like that, I will train you 'till the cows come home!

Naruto

You will? No lie?

Jiraiya

The Toad Mountain Sage never lies!

Naruto

You got it! Wait here.

Jiraiya

[seeing hot women] Too bad kid. It's not like we had a contract really. Oh ladies! Can you show me the way to town? [later] Then I said "Not with my rice bowl you don't".

That's a funny story.

Jiraiya

It's funny yes, but it's not just a story. Every word of it is true.

What happened next?

Naruto

Hey pervy sage! I'm back!

Did he call you pervy?

Jiraiya

Worthless little runt! I told you not to call me that!

Naruto

[brings a watermelon instead of a sexy woman] Look I got you one, just the way you like em! A ripe and luscious one with curves!

Jiraiya

THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT, YOU MORON!

Jiraiya

I am not a little pervert!

Naruto

Oh, yeah? Then tell me, what are you?

Jiraiya

[Lets out a huge laugh] I'm a big one!

Jiraiya

What would I want with the Uchiha kid? Tell me, where's the fun in teaching a boy who's already a genius to begin with?

Orochimaru

How touching. You're drawn to him because he reminds you of your old self, is that it? That brat of yours could never beat Uchiha, born as he was into the Shinobi art of Sharingan. Without Sharingan, poor Naruto hasn't a chance of surpassing him. A shinobi's strength rests upon his ability to obtain and master all the jutsu of this world. The very reason we are called ninja is because of the many ninjutsu arts that we wield.

Jiraiya

You're wrong, that's not what makes a shinobi. You never did get it. A real ninja is one who endures no matter what gets thrown at him.

So Orochimaru, when this is over I'll expect 100 human sacrifices.

Kabuto

If Manda finds out that his master can't use any of his jutsu, he's more than likely to betray us. This was a mistake. No matter how hopeless things looked, he never should've summoned Manda, not in his condition.

Tsunade

Katsuyu, see to the boy. Take him to Shizune quickly.

Yes milady, at once.

Shizune

There, I'm ready.

Shizune, please look after the boy. [deposits Naruto] The battle to come promises to be a most fearful one. You and this clone of myself must take the boy somewhere safe and see that no harm comes to him. This is the wish of your mistress.

Shizune

Lady Tsunade.

I'm going to pop you like a balloon, you dirty stinking toad!

Then please come on and try it. I've always wanted a snakeskin wallet.

Jiraiya

Orochimaru, you're no longer fit to be one of us. Your evil days are finally at an end.

Orochimaru

One of us? What an insult.

Tsunade

After this there'll be one less Sannin in this world.

Jiraiya

[Advising Naruto to forget about Sasuke] To be a shinobi you need more than strength and jutsu. You must acquire the judgment to make the right decisions. You must become smarter. The longer you remain a fool, the harder it will be for you to live in this world. That's reality.

Naruto

Fine then. If being smarter means what you say it does, I'll remain a fool my entire life. I'm going after him, and I'll do it alone if I have to. I'll create my own incredible jutsu, and whenever the Akatsuki show up, I'll smack them down!

Jiraiya

The thought of my leaving you to come up with Jutsu on your own like that idiotic sexy Jutsu of yours... No, it's too depressing. This is more than foolish, it's so colossally foolish it might even work. We've got a lot of work to do when you get out of the hospital. So be ready to hit the ground running. See you then.

Naruto

You got it!