[In voiceover, industrial arts nerd Joe talks about his beloved craft.]
Joe: And you know, I like the feel of a board moving smoothly against a sharp saw.
Mike [as Joe]: [luridly] ...then I thrust the nail into the soft, yielding wood...
Joe: I like the smell of fresh wood chips and sawdust...
Servo [as Joe]: [nervously] I put them in my underwear!
Joe: ...the bright glare of a welder...
Crow [as Joe]: [wobbily] I like to sneak in and lay on the table saw!
Servo [as Joe]: Yes!
Joe: ...the sharp whine of the power tools��
Mike [as Joe]: ...the piercing scream of a freshman��
Joe: ...or the dull tap-tap of tools on leather.
Crow [as Joe]: [wobbily] Tap ta-tap-tap... I keep Popular Mechanics under my mattress!
Servo: The feeling of chaps with no pants!
Joe: ...A wrench...
Mike: Let it go, man! Shop class was a long time ago! It's OVER!
Joe: ...A plane...
Crow [as Joe]: [haltingly] These tools are my friends!
Joe: ...or a chisel...
Servo: What about girls young man? Girls?
Mike: No, no, chisels!

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