[Host Segment Four. Mike had tripped over Crow while exiting the theater, and has a gold net and claws]
It's very simple, Mike. Just don't fall on me anymore.
[holding a rag to his head] Well if you weren't so sharp and pointy, I think I'm gonna need stiches!
Well, pick up your feet next time, you big- [notices Mike's new features] hey. Say Mike, theres something about you, I don't know, but suddenly you are very, very handsome man!
Really?
Yeah. I can't believe I never noticed how striking you are! I mean, you are a god!
[while Mike is flattered with Crow's complements, Tom enters and yells at Mike's new look]
Wha- what?!
Mike, look at your hands! Feel your head!
[Mike does so] So I have claws and a net. What's the bi.. [voice suddenly starts to sound like Crow] Hey! Wait a minute!
Ah, when you stupidly fell on me, some of my essence must've mingled with your essence.
Blech! Don't say essence!
Yeah, you know what? I am beginning to look and feel like you, and you know what I'm...
[choruses with Mike] Perfectly comfortable with that. Yes, that's exactly what I said!
Ah! He's a Were-Crow! A WERE-CROW!
Okay-uh, so tell me how you feel?
Well I feel thin...
Uh-huh.
...I have an intense love for bacon...
Oh yeah!
...And a sense of moral superiority over everyone I meet.
Yes, perfect! You're me! Oh-ho this is turning out great!
Man, I love us!
Yeah, me too!
[disgusted] If you excuse me. I'm going to throw up, all over myself! [leaves]
Yeah, whatever. So what else can I expect?
Well, your voice is going to change every 7 years or so...
Okay, good.
You'll start ordering salad spinners by the truckload, from QVC-
Already have!
Great! [Commercial sign starts] Oop. [choruses with Mike] Well be right back!
Haha! What else?
Well, you're gonna have to hide your huge collection of tattoo magazines.
Ooh, good point! [chuckles]
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