[as the film opens with a couple of newlyweds]
Wait, it's over? Did we just skip to the end of the movie?
“Yongary: Monster from the Deep” · Season 11
In this episode: Jonah (8), Crow T. Robot (6), Tom Servo (6), Ilo (3), Gypsy (2)
[as a car drives down the center of a highway, not in an exact lane]
CCrow
The center lane is for newlyweds only. Out of the way!
This is simultaneously the most and least responsible driving I have ever seen.
IIlo
I think I know what's going on. Come on out.
GGroom
Who are you talking to?
IIlo
Come on out of there, Icho!
Wait, his name is Icho, and he makes people itch? Glad his name isn't Poo-O.
Okay, Gypsy...
GGroom
[when the bride wakes him up] Huh. I must have dozed.
This is all part of his elaborate love play.
GGroom
Boy, I’m really tired tonight.
BBride
You can sleep afterward.
CCrow
After what, Jonah?
D- Don’t worry about it.
CCrow
Okay.
GGroom
You’re not going to be a nagging wife now, are you, my dear?
SAServo [as the Groom]
That’s not what I’m into.
BBride
I bore you already. Looks like our marriage is doomed.
GGroom
No.
JAJonah [as the Groom]
Yes..
GGroom
That happens whenever I get married.
“Whenever???”
...
GGroom
Hey, sweetheart...
JAJonah [as the Groom]
Hey, you think we can tell each other our names now?
[looking on a model center in the film] This must be Shining Time Station’s military industrial complex.
[as a buzzer begins to sound in the film]
We got movie sign!
[Jonah and the Bots get excited and begin to run out of the theater, before quickly realizing the buzzer is in the film and return to their seats]
Oh, that was...
CCrow
Whoops, that was embarrassing!
Yeah, sorry about that.
[during an earthquake]
Oh this is it, the big one's hitting! [freaking out] Gypsy, initiate panic mode!
[Jonah and the Bots scream and run around in place]
[dropping down] Guys, settle down, it's not even a convincing earthquake scene! Looks like your weird uncle's train set!
[an earthquake hits, and mountains smoke]
Yeah, that's just North Korea. They do that... a lot.
[as Yongary emerges from the ground]
PPolice Officer
Yongary's coming out!
CCrow
Hey, good for Yongary!
ISIlo's Mother
Please don't go, Ilo.
IIlo
Don't you worry. I have to go. I'll be alright.
IIcho
I'll go too.
JAJonah [as Icho]
Death and destruction are my jam. Whee!
SISuna & Ilo's Mother
Icho! Icho! No, come back, please!
CACrow [as Icho]
You suck, and this place sucks, and I'm leaving!
[at a sock hop; a teenager prays while another pours beer on his head]
SAServo [as Praying Teen]
Please Lord, make the jukebox play my song before Yongary crushes us.
I'm just amazed at how much beer is in that bottle. It's still going!
IIlo
Hello, I'm professor Ilo Nami. I've got to get a closer look at Yongary. Will you please let me in?
SSoldier
You got here a bit too late.
CACrow [as Soldier]
He's dead. Movie's over.
SSoldier
They're going to hit Yongary any minute.
SAServo [as Soldier]
We're just waiting for the shockwave.
SSoldier
They'll be using guided missiles.
Sergeant Loose Lips right here.
SSoldier
You better go.
SAServo [as Ilo]
Um, we're not going.
SSoldier
They're going to hit Yongary any minute.
CCrow
Did they hit a glitch in the Matrix?
SSoldier
They'll be using guided missiles.
JAJonah [as Soldier]
Go. I'm out of dialogue!
SSoldier
You better go.
SSuna
Missiles? Really?
Yeah! Any minute!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.